How to Catch a Star
by Leona2016
Summary: The moment he watched that star shoot across the darkened sky, when he uttered that wish he didn't know he had held in his heart all this time, Kíli and the dwarves traveling with him to the Blue Mountains were destined to gain a very outlandish companion indeed. (post-BotFA, AU, Romance&H/C, Kíli&OC)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Okay... So I was fantasizing about a certain cute, handsome, funny dwarf we all know and then decided to write it down and turn it into a full-fledged story, I've only got not even a handful of chapters at the moment but I figured I might as well start posting it regardless. It's a completely different story from my Thorin/OC one, I felt in need of something 'light and airy' haha, to be honest I haven't even planned it all out yet (let alone done any editing), but I'm just going to have fun with it and see where it takes me.. Anyways, hope you'll enjoy! :D

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 **Disclaimer:** I don't own The Hobbit, this is solely a non-profit fan activity, yada yada, Tolkien, PJ...and that's everything covered! ;)

 **-Chapter 1-**

Lowering the hood of his cloak and braving the few drops still falling haphazardly from the darkening sky overhead, Kíli silently took in the sight around him. The Shire was still breathtakingly beautiful in its simplicity and seemed as unaffected by the world outside of its borders as when he had visited it last. It now bathed in the dying light of a muggy summer's day that had caused the few clouds to swell and eventually clash so a refreshing shower of rain had poured down on him and his companions. He let his gaze travel down from the streaks of purple and orange overhead until it rested on the four dwarves that, reins in hand, led their ponies down a narrow path that ran around the crown of one of the many grassy hills that made up Hobbiton. A wave of gratitude that they had come with him washed over him as he observed each of them in turn.

In front walked the cheerful and loyal miner, floppy hat on his head and his trusted and rusty mattock dangling from his belt, swaying with every step he took. Behind him Ori was softly patting his white and brown speckled pony, the hand rubbing its muzzle half hidden in his knitted mittens he continued to wear whatever the season. Probably quirking an amused brow because of this was Nori, who followed his younger sibling at a leisurely pace, lips pouted as he whistled an old travel song which had the healing master following in its wake bury his battered ear trumpet even further into his ear, eyes wildly shooting from left to right in search of the strange bird he thought he was hearing. He himself brought up the rear, not counting his lazy gray pony that plodded along and needed the occasional reminder that they hadn't reached their journey's end yet.

They had been traveling through the Shire with its babbling brooks and green fields dotted with shrubs and trees for four days already but as they turned the corner now, rounding the tallest hill yet, the view of the small hobbit town made him instantly stop in his tracks. Had their following the East Road and crossing of the Brandywine Bridge to enter East Farthing already released a barrage of memories, looking out over the collection of low, thatched-roofed homes with hobbits merrily sauntering across the cosy and colorful lampion lit square flooded his heart with all he tried to remember and forget. Above all the sheer peacefulness made him stagger as the contrast with how he felt inside made it seem as if something solid and unforgiving had slammed hard against his chest, momentarily robbing him of air.

Kíli took an instinctive step back and inhaled deeply through his nose to steady himself, the sweet scent of a myriad of flowers entering it unbidden as well making him close to lightheaded. Ironically, though, he had never felt so heavy in his life. Nor had he ever been more aware of the weight that was on his shoulders as he thought of the reason for their return to the Blue Mountains. What they had to do once they got there. What _he_ had to do. Kíli automatically felt with his hand in his pocket where his fingers briefly bumped against the cold touch of the oval-shaped, polished rune stone given to him at their parting by his _amad_. At least he had kept his promise to her. _But how_.. _How was he going to tell her.._.

Swallowing down a lump in his throat he shook his head and blinked back stubborn tears he really could not give in to right now. _Mahal_ he was he a wreck..! Clenching his jaw and tasting that sourly tinge of bitterness on his tongue he tightened the hold on the reins in his hand, making the leather creak as he forced himself to place one foot in front of the other again, pulling his grazing pony along as well. Soon, and to his relief, he had caught up to the others who fortunately hadn't noticed he had fallen behind a little. After a few more turns they finally reached their destination for the day.

Arriving at the smial built into the hill itself at the end of Bagshot Row they all tied their ponies to the fence, leaving them to feast on the long grass that peeped under, through and over it. Twilight had now fully set in and here and there stars appeared, twinkling wistfully overhead in the sky a deepening blue. Kíli stared up at them with the wonder he usually felt spread through him whenever he did this. He had almost lowered his head again when, inexplicably, his heart suddenly clenched, his shoulders tensed and the hair in the back of his neck stood on end. Next instant his eyes narrowed instinctively when the far way, little light he had gazed at grew brighter then dimmed before it fell, its long tail a fiery streak against the coming evening. Kíli gasped at the sight, overwhelmed by a sense of loneliness and regret for the distance between him and that star he felt so connected to despite the fact that it was part of a different world.

"Come to me.." He whispered pleadingly, giving in to the words that had entered his head as if on their own accord. There had been a powerful tremor in his voice and the intense longing he had uttered made him take a faltering step back only to bump into the dwarf behind him. Bofur placed a hand against his back to steady him, a friendly smile flashing across his face, "You all right there, lad?"

Kíli lowered his head, hurriedly mumbling over his shoulder to the miner that he was and trying his best to calm down the inner turmoil he felt stirring in his stomach. He shook his head slightly, a silent reproach to himself for allowing to be so overcome by his unusual reaction to that shooting star and letting himself be pushed and prodded in his companions' impatience to get to the gate. It soon squeaked open and in something close to a procession all five dwarves trooped up the steps leading to a familiar round, green door with a bronze handle in the middle. Having ended up being the first of their line Kíli halted in front of it nearly overcome again with emotions but this time springing from the presence of the powerful ghost of a night more than five years ago. He raised a fist to knock but before he could his gaze strayed down the door and he almost saw again the illuminated rune glowing a bright blue as it had done that April. This time, though, Fíli did not stand next to him and his absence did nothing for his already faltering courage. He missed his _nadad_. They had never been separated this long before although it had not even been four months since he and the others had left Erebor for the Blue Mountains. He knew deep down that the latter would no longer feel like a home to him once they got there. Not anymore. And yet, the Lonely Mountain wasn't home either. Maybe never would be. Perhaps no place could be. _Not now when_.. _Not now Thorin_.. _Now his uncle_..

The others had silently gathered around him, sending him careful and expectant looks that pulled him out of his gloomy reverie. Noticing his hesitation, Bofur stepped up to him and placed a hand supportively on his shoulder, "Don't worry, lad. I'll tell him." On his other side Nori nodded in reassurance then nudged his chin to his younger sibling who caught on and quickly yanked on a rope dangling above him. Kíli lowered his balled fist somewhat in defeat as a clear, jingling and ringing sound erupted from a small bell, causing Oín to jump in fright as he was the one that stood directly underneath it. Next moment there were small, muffled noises coming from inside Bag End and they could hear footsteps nearing before the round door swung open, revealing a good friend who stared open-mouthed at them as he took in the unexpected guests on his threshold. The smile Kíli felt stir somewhere deep in his chest might not be strong enough to make it to his lips, despite everything that _had_ happened and _would_ happen he bent his back in a low bow in greeting, feeling incredibly glad to see their burglar again.

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A dull monotone 'pong' forced its way passed my earplugs and resonated in my skull until it rudely woke me from a dreamless half-sleep. I had never been happier in my life for that seatbelt-sign to be switched off though I had barely time to feel relieved that the inhumanly long flight to almost literally the other side of the world was finally over. Still drowsy I tried rubbing my eyes to improve my blurry vision but was mercilessly interrupted when, with an irritated tutting sound and an impatient throat clearing, my frustrated businessman neighbor made it clear he was going to join the other passengers in their pointless attempt to beat each other to passport control with or without my cooperation. Already feeling queasy enough the last thing I needed was to be elbowed in the stomach for fear of what that may lead to (especially seeing there was no way I could recycle the one sick bag to which I'd already generously donated my dinner) I hurriedly tried to get out of the way. Of course this meant I first ended up having my seatbelt cut into my legs when I had heard but not yet acted on that sign above me being switched off and then practically strangled myself with the ridiculously lengthy chord of those cheap onboard earphones still very much plugged into the armrest of my seat and coiled around my neck.

At that point my grumpy jerk of a neighbor decided he had had enough of my ill-timed antics and squeezed himself passed me, breathing heavily through his flaring nostrils and the briefcase he clutched missing my head by inches. At the risk of getting trampled by my other bleary eyed, ruffled-haired and moody fellow travelers I eventually managed to wriggle out from my seat and retrieve my backpack from the overhead compartment only to get in line with what my sleep deprived brain compared to how a colony of wobbling penguins made their way to the ice-cold ocean for a long awaited plunge after having braved the winter huddled together in one spot. I slowly but surely made my way passed the gate and through the necessary security checks to end up waiting for at least half an hour on my suitcase to also arrive at the baggage reclaim. And I wasn't the only one. The middle-aged man that had sat next to me on the plane -loudly snoring too most of the time if he hadn't been typing away furiously on his laptop or harassing flight attendants for more beer- stood with his hands demonstratively on his hips, tapping one feet in annoyance as he stared at the baggage carousel as if he wanted to set it on fire that way. Eyes transfixed on the rotating belt I just started to feel slightly dizzy and hypnotized even by watching the same baggage rolling passed again and again when I finally spotted my suitcase and couldn't help but feel a certain sense of justice when I turned my back rather triumphantly on my impatient neighbor who was still waiting for his.

The automatic doors slid open before me and I inhaled deeply, reveling in the unlimited amount of fresh air filling my lungs again after hours of breathing in recycled oxygen though, no longer used to the real thing, it almost triggered a series of sneezes. As my respiratory system readjusted to my new environment (including the familiar mix of what smelled like secondhand exhaust fumes, trash cans that hadn't been emptied in over a century and the sickening odor of fast-food mingling with cigarette smoke) I headed towards my adventure with firm, determined strides, not minding the fact that my suitcase (the weight of a baby killer whale) nearly pulled my arm out of its socket and that the herd of tourists I had to weave my way through were all naturals at pretending I didn't exist simply because I wasn't as tall as any of them. Remembering the reason for flying all the way over here, however, made me realize this holiday might actually be the first time I would prove to be the exact right size..

I was in serious danger of grinning like an idiot as I conjured up the picture I'd taken of the last plane before boarding, seeing again before me those fourteen enlarged faces smiling back at me when I nearly got run over by a car. Okay. Not the time to go all fangirl and have my daydreaming thoughts carry me off to fantasy land when I still very much needed to connect to reality to get to my final destination. I forced myself to move, trying to keep track of the many signs overhead, frustration building every time the moving crowd around me forced me in the wrong direction very much against my will.

A too long and definitely too expensive cab ride later I at last walked up a long drive in the middle of absolutely nowhere. It felt incredibly good to stretch my legs again after that flight (and I should in fact say flights, as in plural) from hell having to sit in a cramped backseat of a car that seemed to swerve every time it changed lanes for another couple of hours hadn't exactly improved my mood. Still. Taking in the scenery around me excitement surged through me and I couldn't stop smiling. Okay. It wasn't exactly the Shire as I had pictured it, as the website had depicted it, but it was green, there were some hills in the background beyond a cornfield that had just been harvested and, planted right next to a shed doubling as reception, there was one withered and bent oak tree that had weather stained party lights hanging from its tired branches.

Admittedly it got a little harder for me to hold on to my enthusiasm after getting checked in by an elderly lady smiling at me with a set of teeth I wouldn't be surprised she had obtained by a bit of amateur grave robbing and it downright plummeted when a guy with bulging eyes, matted hair and grease all over him dressed in what had to be the worst hobbit costume in the history of badly designed costumes walked in. Yanking the handle of my suitcase unceremoniously out of my hand without so much as an introduction or greeting he preceded me outside. I reluctantly followed as he led me around the dilapidated farm I assumed staff and the family who owned the land they had turned into a resort for crazy Tolkien fans like me lived in, hoping the state of the main building wasn't an indication of what the accommodations would look like.

Within minutes I abruptly halted in front of a round and green door (moss not paint responsible for that color) and just in time held out my hand when the 'bell boy' slammed a key in my palm. He went on to remind me in a bored tone that I would be billed for anything I broke or felt tempted to put into my pockets although I hardly caught what he was saying, I was trying hard not to look down at his hairy feet (naturally grown) seeing the long journey had already killed most of my appetite and I desperately wanted to hold on to what little still remained of it. _Hairy feet_.. _Cute on hobbits_.. _Gross on real men_.. By the time he was done listing of all of the house rules my dwindling appetite was ready for burial.

I was more than a little glad when he finally seemed to leave me on my own only to subtly remind me I shouldn't forget to lock my door at night, adding with a creepy wink he did, in fact, have a master key so they could always come in and rescue me in case of an emergency. _Right_.. That was the very opposite of reassuring. Still. I looked at the key in my hand starting to feel excited again at the prospect of opening the door of what would be my very own smial for a whole week. I hurried inside and explored my hobbit abode hyperactive-five-year-old style. That came with barely contained screams of joy, jumping on practically all the furniture present and replaying in my head all the hobbit hole scenes of my favorite halfling which I happened to have memorized for the occasion and if I strained my ears I swear I could almost hear his voice, see the expressions on his face and feel his presence as if he was a friend that had joined me (voluntarily or not) on this trip.

OK. Once the adrenaline (which could well have been more the result of sleep deprivation and lightheadedness after not having had a decent meal in over a day rather than justified excitement) started to wear off I had to be honest with myself. It wasn't like on the website. Not even close. The faucet in the kitchen leaked at such an alarming rate that it made me wish I'd brought a scuba diving set just in case, the old four poster bed creaked alarmingly loud when I sat down on it and they had done a pretty crappy job with the overall decoration too: moth eaten curtains with the ugliest flower pattern known to mankind, threadbare carpets that seemed woven from the very dust that lay on it, sconces with fake, candle shaped lightbulbs that flickered erratically, old floorboards with holes in it causing me to fear I'd go the same way as Alice if I wasn't careful, and the list goes on..

Sinking down on a rocking chair that literally sighed out of fatigue when it had to carry my weight (I tried not to take it personal) I studied the brochure the lady behind the reception desk had shoved towards me over the counter with the most disinterested look she could possibly manage. One quick look told me that the program listed only about half the things that were supposed to be part of the deal, adding a series of very uncreative and lame excuses why those weren't available at the moment in the smallest small print ever invented. Trying not to be disappointed and have that all too familiar sense of being screwed over and cheated out of what little savings I had take over I decided to take this vacation day by day and give it the benefit of the doubt. After all, tomorrow promised to be entertaining enough, it being the 22nd of September there were several festivities in honor of Bilbo Baggins birthday, including a dance around a bonfire near midnight preceded by a picnic style dinner under the famous party tree. The brochure also said that we would be joined by THE dwarves for the occasion. That announcement, sounding both exciting and ominous at the same time, had me instantly hope that Mr. 'Creepy-Bellboy' wasn't going to double as Thorin. Or Fíli for that matter. And if he was cast as Kíli then I was definitely going to get a refund.

I got to my feet, willfully ignoring my suitcase and deciding I could unpack it in the morning I only opened it to pull out a towel, then let my clothes slide off of me and headed to the bathroom. Tightly wrapped up in the comfortably soft cloth a faded pink I futzed with the rusty and very uncooperative shower lever, which turned out to be stoically unresponsive to cursing too, but then finally got water running. Freezing cold water to be precise and I had to spent another agonizingly long time trying to get it to an acceptable lukewarm temperature. I was tired, grimy from the long flight ( _why did my favorite movie have to be shot at a location as far removed from civility as possible_?!) but I was still confident a nice, not-so-hot shower but a shower nonetheless would lift my mood. Tomorrow I was sure everything would look much better. This was going to be a holiday to remember. The best holiday of my life.. Yes, that was it-

I froze, pausing that thought with my hands stopping midway in raking through my wet hair. What was that sound? I strained my ears, hoping I had just imagined the shuffling noise coming from the other side of the door. _There it was again_..! Whatever was making that sound was getting closer, and it was too heavy to be a mouse.. I reached out for the lever, awkwardly fumbling with it until water stopped coming out of the shower head and I nervously listened for a repetition of the sound of someone stumbling around my smial. I heard it a split second later dashing my hopes that somehow the gushing of water on the tiles underfoot had played tricks on my mind. Had that creep made good on his threat and used the master key to let himself in?

Close to freaking out when there was a particularly telling sound of footsteps approaching and the betraying scraping of something being lifted up (a burglar?!) I hurried from under the shower, nearly slipping in the process, and wildly looked around for my towel. I had only just frantically rewrapped it around myself when the creaking of floorboards made me panic and I grabbed the closest thing within reach for a weapon (a toilet brush that used to be a lot whiter.. _ew_..), immediately swinging around again to face the door and the unknown assailant behind it. Heart throbbing in my chest I reached out for the doorknob but before my fingers could get a good enough hold it was pulled out of my hand and the door swung open.

I wanted to scream but it got stuck in my throat and instead my jaw simply dropped when I stared back into two, large brown eyes set in a eerily familiar face framed by curly hair. The small man was wearing a patchwork robe and knee length breeches that didn't reach all the way to his hairy feet. His mouth hung open in a similar state of shock, blackened poker raised in one hand in a ironic imitation of my own battle-ready pose. I blinked. And blinked again. But I simply couldn't register what my eyes were seeing. _Who_ they were seeing. I'd caught a _burglar_ snooping around all right..

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 **A/N:** ...And that was it for the 'modern world' hehe ;), this is the part where I usually make myself all snug and comfy on the couch, grab a bag of potato chips/bowl of popcorn and sit back to enjoy the always inspirational world of Middle Earth! Hope you guys want to read on after this little snippet, I'll be posting chapter 2 too! Thanks for reading and I'd love to know your thoughts! :D


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Like I promised, chapter 2! ;)

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 **Disclaimer: ** *sigh of resignation* ..well, y'all know the drill: I don't own any of the characters of the Hobbit (wish I did though!) all rights go to Tolkien&PJ!

 **-Chapter 2-**

Regaining control of my trembling body I was about to say something to break the more than awkward silence but before I could the hobbit made a weird gulping sound and slammed the door in my face. I stood frozen on the spot as I heard him taking deep steadying breaths, mumbling something to himself in a nervous way, floorboards creaked in protest suggesting he was pacing up and down, and with the speed of light by the sound of it. Then the creaking stopped and so, I assumed, had he. A second later the door swung open again. He whimpered at the sight of me and slammed it shut again in what I could only guess was a desperate attempt to make me disappear. The third time he opened the door very slowly poking his face carefully around it and upon finding me still there he sighed as if in resignation then let out a determined _hum_ and opened it wide.

He squared his shoulders as if bracing himself, pulled the sash around his waist even tighter though it made no real difference in his appearance and said with a polished politeness that I felt was nothing short of miraculous at that moment, "Good evening. Bilbo Baggins, at your service." He made a rather stiff bow but a bow nonetheless and then, before I had time to copy the gesture and introduce myself, he went on in a formal yet somewhat exasperated tone, "I am sure I am honored to make your acquaintance, though I cannot help but wonder _why_ I have that honor all of a sudden."

His more than justified apprehension as well as the questioning look he threw me, not piercing merely curious it seemed, had me stutter an unintelligent "U-uh.." before I quickly closed my mouth again. I followed the hobbit's gaze to my left arm still raised and ready to strike. Realizing it was about time I laid down my weapon, I cast a glance at the object in my hand and let the not so clean toilet brush drop unceremoniously to the floor in unmasked disgust. A frown creased Bilbo's forehead and he wrinkled his nose in thought.

"May I ask how exactly you came to be in my bathroom-" His inquiry was drowned by the sound of a doorbell that suddenly rang loud and clear through the long and winding tunnels of the hobbit hole.

"If you will excuse me for a moment." Clearly surprised but bravely trying not to show it Bilbo made another small bow. Turning around he hovered for a moment as his eyes found the poker he had wielded earlier as it stood resting against the curved wall. Fingers sprawled his hand reached out in its direction as he considered taking it with him but then, apparently thinking the better of it, he left it there and hurried down the hallway.

Something about staying behind made a sharp sense of panic flare up inside me and it urged me into motion so I ended up cautiously setting out after him. I left a trail of wet footprints behind but I hardly noticed it now the smial I walked through had changed drastically. It was in no way similar to the one I had rented for my holiday. This one was _real_.. _Wait_.. _Was it_? _How could that be_? I was in New Zealand, staying in a resort for Tolkien fans that did not include a meet and greet with the actors of The Hobbit.. Nor did they offer a stay in an exact replica of Bag End that looked (and _felt_ ) this authentic. _So_.. _Did that mean I had slipped on a bar of soap, hit my head and that all of this wasn't happening at all_? My confused thoughts were abruptly interrupted when there was the scraping and screeching sound of hinges followed by wood creaking and grunting as Bilbo up ahead pulled open a round, green door.

"Ha! Why, I never…!" I could hear the hobbit exclaim in genuine disbelief, evoking four loud and happy 'Goodevening's in response followed by a voice I could only describe as sounding both scratchy and velvety at the same time when it remarked with the hint of a strangely familiar cheekiness, "It's been too long, Mr. _Boggins_."

As boisterous laughter filled the hall I felt goosebumps erupt all over my skin at that last word I'd picked up. _Impossible_.. _It couldn't be_.. _Then again, if Bilbo was here, why wouldn't the dwarves be_? But even if they were, if the hobbit had obviously already met them, how could _that_ dwarf be here.. I briefly shook my head, not wanting to revisit those heart wrenching images of the two brothers and their uncle being cruelly killed during the battle for the Lonely Mountain. Clutching my stomach that almost heaved at that particularly saddening memory I carefully peered around the bend in the hallway. Next thing I knew my still wet feet slipped on the tiles and as I stumbled forward I practically tripped over a thick carpet before recovering my balance (not my dignity, there was no hope of ever getting that back) and I ended up standing hunched and shivery like a frightened rabbit in the middle of the entrance hall. At that moment Bilbo had just jovially invited his old friends to enter with an endless repetition of "Come in! Come in!" though all the lively chatter and mirth died a horribly painful death as the dwarves noticed me. I had never felt so awkward in my life. And that was saying something. I couldn't be more out of place as I had become an unwilling witness to the reunion I was pretty sure I wasn't supposed to be a part of.

A few jaws dropped as five pair of eyes gaped at me and my less than formal appearance in a tense silence that stretched uncomfortably long. They weren't the only ones that had a reason to stare though. I knew these dwarves. OK, so I hadn't _met_ them. But I _knew_ them. And while I recognized each of their faces, they looked undeniably different. Oín had apparently managed to trim his wild gray hair and it looked far less unkempt and messy, as did the two curled up braids in his beard. Most notably though, was the shiny and undented ear trumpet in his hand that gleamed just as bright as the neat row of buttons on the tunic he wore. Ori still possessed his innocent and cute looks with his fringe and knitted mittens but the cardigan that reached all the way to his knees seemed made out of a fine and expensive looking fabric that I could only refer to as classy. His brother, Nori, was all sparkling and glittering, there was hardly a finger left that didn't have a fancy ring shoved on it, even his collar and boots had been inlaid with rubies, diamonds and gems and I could swear the beads at the end of his three-braided beard were made of pure silver. In contrast, Bofur wore a simple, long-sleeved cotton blouse with an unadorned leather belt strapped around it and his trademark hat still sat a little lopsided on his head. It was hard to pinpoint but his clothes seemed less patchy and baggy, and _newer_ somehow.

Hanging back a little from the rest was the last dwarf I had expected to see. To see _alive_ that was. And yet, here I was, staring back into two eyes a warm hazel color that observed me from under furrowed brows and through strands of his untamed hair. The intensity of his gaze alone took my breath away. In everything Kíli looked the same and yet completely different. He was wearing a long, sapphire blue overcoat the lapels of which were black, leather bands studded with metal squares tilted to look like diamonds and covered in a layer of deep, dull gold. The arm and chest guards he had on were the same, thick leather though there were intricate, geometrical patterns etched into it. And lastly, his long, straight hair, a dark shade of brown, framed his handsome face that was smooth safe from the casual stubble on his chin. He was definitely the Kíli I knew. And yet.. Some of his youthfulness seemed missing, as if someone or something had stolen it from him and a sad gravity had momentarily taken its place..

Before I could make sense of anything though, or fathom that unsettling sensation stirring in my stomach, Bilbo finally swiveled around to face me when he followed his guests' line of vision. He lifted a finger as if he needed to point at me to be reminded of our earlier meeting, however brief and inconclusive that may have been.

"Oh! Yes. Um.. Forgive me my bad manners. May I introduce.." His voice trailed off, obviously also remembering now that we hadn't come to that bit yet.

"Your wife?!" Nori was quick to seize the opportunity Bilbo's sudden loss for words provided, filling in the blank himself.

"Bilbo!" Ori joyously clapped two hands together, while Oín only added to the confusion by muttering grumpily, "Knife?! Why would he want a knife?"

Bofur took off his floppy hat and placed it over his heart, a broad smile splitting his face, "By Durin's beard you married! Why didn't you invite us to the wedding?!" He sounded both pleased and indignant, something that could not be said for Kíli who practically gulped and then mumbled a soft and embarrassed "Congratulations" before Bilbo stuttered in protest, his face as red as his prizewinning tomatoes. He shook his head and flapped his hands in denial, eventually raising them as if in surrender.

"No, no, no! You've got it all wrong." He stammered in a high-pitched tone, desperate to correct them, "That is not my wife! We are _not_ married!"

"Then who is she?" Bofur asked, not masking his confusion and looking from Bilbo to me. The eyes of the other dwarves were cutting back and forth between the hobbit and me too as if they were going to find any clues or solve the mystery that way.

Bilbo opened and almost immediately closed his mouth again when no answer came readily to his mind, then cleared his throat as he threw me a puzzled look.

Feeling as if I had just got singled out in class when I hadn't actually prepped for it -a sensation I wasn't wholly unfamiliar with- I stupidly pointed at myself though I didn't honestly think feigned ignorance wasn't going to save me now, "Me? Oh.. Um.. I-I'm.. I'm Robin."

"Just Robin?" The hobbit queried as nonplussed and curious as his guests.

"Taylor. It's Robin Taylor." I quickly provided my last name, not sure how it would help but figuring it wouldn't hurt to introduce myself properly.

"Bofur at your service, Miss Robin." The miner took off his hat and bowed while Nori next to him tilted his head, eyes openly traveling over me and especially the parts my small towel didn't cover which before long earned him a smack on the head from his neighbor.

The thief winced in pain and shot Bofur a glare before dipping his head in a reverent bow too, saying, "Nori, at yours, Miss. And same goes for my little brother Ori." He unceremoniously pulled Ori down with him by grabbing a fistful of his sleeve. The youngest Ri brother in his turn blushed bashfully and stared at his own feet as he made a strange courtesy in my general direction.

"Oín, honored to meet you I'm sure, Miss Taylor." The healer said reluctantly, shielding his eyes with his ear trumpet, muttering under his breath to himself about propriety and shaking his head instead of bowing. There was only one dwarf left to introduce himself. My breath hitched instantly the moment my eyes found his again. He took a tentative step forward, looking torn between wariness holding him back and curiosity that urged him on. His lips parted and he had placed one hand on his chest, getting ready to bow formally, when I stupidly messed things up and spoke before I could stop myself.

"Kíli.."

He wasn't the only one to stiffen at hearing his name coming out of my mouth and not his. He straightened, narrowing his eyes in something close to both distrust and fascination. Figuring it was too late to fix my mistake I simply opted for apologizing as the only form of damage control I possessed, "I'm sorry, I just.. I didn't think you'd be here.. I mean you _can't_ be here.."

At this Kíli's frown morphed into a defensive scowl, "I _am_ here.. The question is, why are _you_?"

He had me there. That really was the question. And I didn't know the answer. Not sure if I ever would find out either..

Bofur took a step forward to stand between me and Kíli, crossing his arms so he pointed at each of us, "You have met our charming prince, have you?"

I opened my mouth to answer but not a sound came out at first. Realizing Bofur still eyed me curiously I finally managed to hurriedly shake my head in denial.

"Where _are_ you from?" Kíli pressed me, sidestepping his travel companion, his forehead still creased as he looked at me intently. I practically trembled all over under his piercing gaze and felt embarrassingly close to either burst out in nervous laughter or faint inelegantly on the rug in front of him. _Did he know just how much he looked like his uncle when he did the whole drawing up to his full height and scowling thing_?

This all started to feel more unreal by the minute and it took all of my self control not to scream and run away. If this was all really happening, and seriously it _couldn't_ , then logic be damned but I knew first impressions could prove to be vital.

"I'm from a place far, far away." OK. Not the best of opening lines but it wasn't an all out lie and at least I hadn't said galaxy. A tense silence followed my vague statement. Obviously the dwarves and the hobbit were expecting a more elaborate answer. But how was I going to phrase this when I didn't have a clue myself as to what the hell just happened?

"And I'm lost." Was all I could come up with, though it was the truth. Ori gasped looking all compassionate and shocked, "Did you lose your clothes too?"

I instantly felt even more exposed now he had pointed this out though I could hardly claim to always go around dressed in nothing but a towel. His keen observation fortunately had a positive side-effect too. His question made Kíli take a step away from me and avert his gaze, dropping his intimidating stance in the process too.

"Uh, yeah. That's right. I lost those too." My gut squirmed at the realization I couldn't even begin to understand what was going on and perhaps even more so at the fact that it just had to be my luck to cross over into Middle Earth _naked_.

Always the cheery one it seemed Bofur helpfully remarked, "Well, we can solve that problem in a jiffy." He turned around, addressing the other dwarves in a booming voice, "All right lads, anything you can miss, c'mon, out with it!"

There was a moment of utter confusion followed by the usual bustle involved when dwarves came over for a visit it seemed for all five unslung their packs and started to rummage through them, calling out to each other for suggestions and grumbling complaints now and then. Bilbo at first was too flummoxed to move but then, remembering his responsibility as host and not wanting to be outdone by the dwarves, he scurried off only to return what seemed ten seconds later with a frilly dress, stockings and bonnet that smelled strongly of mothballs.

"There you are, Miss Robin, I hope they're a good size, belonged to my mother." The hobbit explained as I hesitantly gathered them in my arms. Something that turned out to be a tricky task as I was trying to keep my towel in place. Elbows clutched against my sides I mumbled my gratitude to him and the dwarves who one by one handed me whatever they had decided I could use from their spare clothing. I was about to make my escape with my bounty when I felt something I really didn't want to lose slip off and my towel landed with a unspectacular _flop_ in a heap around my feet. Had there been awkward silences before, the one that fell now reached a whole new level of awkwardness.

"Tea!" Bilbo practically yelled in a panicky squeak, gesturing for his guests to go through to the kitchen and shepherding them like cattle on the loose. I simply froze, not daring to move and praying the bundle of clothes in front of me covered everything. Nori's smirk that flashed across his face did nothing to assure me of that but then he quickly eyed the ceiling and -both hands covering Ori's eyes- steered him in the right direction (which was away from me). Bofur was obviously straining himself not to grin, the twinkling in his eyes was enough indication of that, and pulled the rim of his hat further down over his eyes as he marched after the others clearing his throat along the way.

"Oh, _Mahal._." Oín was pointedly looking sideways and walked like a blind man straight into the hat-stand as he attempted to follow his host, disappearing with the rest around the corner not long after. Kíli was the last to go, though he hovered a moment longer on the same spot before stirring himself into motion. Pretending to be or really being unaffected he casually sauntered passed me, picking up the umbrella that had clattered to the ground when Oín had knocked it off in his unseeing flight. He patiently hung it on a peg, remarking in an even tone although he did not look at me directly, "I suggest you change quickly, Miss Robin, for my companions and I have a reputation of pillaging the pantry faster than a pack of hungry wargs."

I could swear the corner of his mouth quirked but then, his face molding back into an unreadable expression that was in fact uncharacteristically _expressionless_ , he left me on my own in the deserted hallway, wet hair and body dripping steadily on the tiles underfoot.

Abandoning my towel and forcing myself to move I took a few cautious steps sideways unwilling to turn my bare back even though they were all gone. I had almost congratulated myself on my belated yet successful escape from complete humiliation when, from the corner of my eyes, I spotted the large mirror I had been standing half in front of all this time.. _Great_..

A blush burning on my cheeks I sped up my sidling against the wall with one hand behind my back feeling it for the nearest door then turned the doorknob once I found it and practically fell inside before closing it with a resounding _bang_.

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 **A/N:** Thanks for reading, let me know what you think! :)


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks for following/favoriting! :D**

 **Whovianeverlark17** : _Thanks for your review! I'm glad you thought it was interesting and unique, I sure hope I can continue to deliver on that score…no pressure! ;) And as for my grammar, I'm usually not that confident about it so that was quite the ego boost you handed me hihi Enjoy~ :)_

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 **Disclaimer:** I don't own The Hobbit, I'm (obviously) not making a profit on this and solely do this for fun!

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 **-Chapter 3-**

The legs of the chair in his hands dragged over the ground but the sound of wood scraping over tiles could not entirely block that of a door slamming shut somewhere further down the hobbit hole. Kíli felt a grin tug at the corner of his mouth at the thought of the lost girl having evidently retreated to a room of her own. And with her the pile of spare clothing they had all donated for the noble cause of covering her body that had still glistened after her apparent washing. It was nothing short of mysterious how she had seemingly appeared in Bilbo's home mere moments before they themselves had arrived. What race even was she? He wondered, absentmindedly shoving the chair in Nori's direction and heading back into the living room to get another one. She was too tall to be a hobbit. Considerably too short to be an elf. And somehow too slender to be a dwarf. That left the race of men. And yet if she did belong to that race, he had never met one who was eye-level with him, put next to each other Dwalin might even have the greater height. Still, there was no other race she could possibly belong to. Even so, she looked different from anyone he had ever seen..

Someone loudly cleared his throat, making him swivel around, almost losing his balance in the process, "Coming?" Nori poked his head around the corner, his trihawk hairstyle casting an enlarged and unusually shaped shadow on the wall. Kíli quickly nodded, reaching out to the nearest chair he could find and following the dwarf back into the kitchen. The others had managed to cram in an extra table and now sat cozily together. Once he planted his own chair at the far end near the stove and squeezed himself in it there was little to no room left to move in. Unfazed by the lack of space Bilbo darted in and out of the small kitchen, bringing back the most delicious food from his pantry, insisting that they remained seated all the while. Within minutes, the hobbit had set out a great variety of dishes, some steaming hot, others still sizzling in butter, as well as whipped up a fruitcake, a lemon pie and jelly for dessert.

Soon all sounds that could be heard was the gulping down of ale and the eagerly munching away of five dwarves and the hobbit who was just as fond of good food and even better company as they were. Between the smacking and occasional burps followed by belated apologies it was mainly Bofur and Bilbo who kept up a steady stream of conversation as they filled each other in on the last five years they had been apart. Now and then Oín and Nori would mingle with their talk, adding or correcting information while Ori more than once tried to prove everyone wrong on some detail or other by consulting his hefty travel log, pulling it out of his bag slung over the back of his chair and slamming its heavy weight on the table so eggs got crushed, grilled tomatoes were squashed, potatoes flew in the air and the jelly wobbled precariously.

Half way through his second helping Kíli chanced a furtive glance at the hall only just visible from where he sat but he saw no movement nor could he hear anything between the loud chewing and zealous guzzling that indicated the girl -Robin?- was done changing into a more formal attire. Well, _any_ attire, really, seeing she had been wearing none to speak of. Doubting she would decide on joining them for dinner any time soon, Kíli searched and quickly found the empty plate he had seen Bofur set out on her behalf and maneuvered it in his direction. Then he scanned the table for any food that had as of yet not been touched by any of them and started to covertly gather them on it. In the end it wasn't more than a few boiled eggs, some mashed potatoes, cold ham and sautéed mushrooms and carrots that he had been able to save from the clutches of his fellow dwarves. Still. It would have to do and was surely better than no meal at all.

Trying not to draw attention to himself, though he was not sure why he felt this need for secrecy, Kíli pushed his chair back just enough so he could get out from between it and the table. He ducked around the corner and into the hallway, tracking her wet footprints still glistening on the tiles to the door that led to the bathroom if his memory served him well. From behind it he could hear faint stumbling and what sounded a lot like half swallowed curses.

"Miss Robin?" He probed carefully accompanied by a tentative knock against the wood.

".. _Kíli_?" Came her cautious reply, her voice muffled as it had to travel through the door to reach him.

"Would you believe me if I said I was Bilbo?" He hesitantly attempted to joke.

"Not anymore."

His lips curved in a small smile at her response before he could stop the impulse and it took him a moment to restrain his laugh, "I come in peace. With food. I thought you must be hungry."

"I'm not. Not really."

"You sure?" He asked, suspecting he could just hear a loud growl from her stomach from the other side of the door. "I did kind of risk my life getting you this plate. It's easier to wrestle a troll than it is to keep back food from bad mannered dwarves, especially when they're starving and ale deprived.."

There was a silence but then his not so subtle attempt at persuasion paid off, "Thank you. That's.. That's really nice of you."

"You're welcome. I'll leave it outside of your door."

He put the plate down and turned around to retrace his steps, making sure his boots made heavy enough sounding thumps as he put them down so she would know the coast was clear. On the way back he crouched down in the hall to pick up the towel still lying there rather forlorn in a heap, intending to hang it near the heated stove where it could dry. As he stepped over the threshold something he could not quite place a finger on made him hide it behind his back. After he had snuck back into the kitchen and slipped into his seat again as nonchalantly as he could he let it rest in his lap. Then, leaning forward and elbows resting on the table, he grabbed the nearest tankard of ale and took a replenishing swig, relishing the taste of it on his tongue and the way it went down his throat.

"And what do you think yer doing, princeling?! That's mine, that is!" Nori protested loudly from next to him, face half buried in a large helping of lemon cake the crumbs of which were scattered over his beard like beads.

Realizing his mistake Kíli put the tankard down and shoved it roughly in his neighbor's direction, spilling half of its contents in the process, "Don't blame me if all it takes to distract you form guarding your drink is the sweet seduction of our host's exquisite desserts." He bit back, invoking an indignant 'Oi!' from Nori as Bofur meddled with the case of the allegedly robbed thief, clearly seeing the irony, "Had that coming for years, and you know it." He remarked cleverly and smirked like there was no tomorrow before growing serious again and addressing Kíli instead in a remonstrating tone, "Not that it gives _you_ any reason to underestimate Mr. Baggins' cooking. I swear by my beard that _that,_ " He stabbed an emphatic finger towards the nearly gone dessert, almost impaling it, "is the best lemon pie I've ever had."

"Hear, hear..!" Oín instantly agreed from the other side of the table, while Nori still looked murderous and Ori was trying to keep his chortling in check now the hobbit had hastily got up scuttled out of the kitchen, undoubtedly honor-bound to find more of his praised dessert after the miner's genuine compliment.

Kíli simply shrugged, "It'll take more than a pie to distract me."

"Oh aye. I daresay in your case it'll only take a certain lass in a towel." Bofur countered, face splitting in a broad, triumphant grin.

"A certain lass _without_ a towel, more like it." Nori piped up, next second Kíli felt something slip out of his lap but he was too late to stop the nimble and experienced hands of the dwarf sitting next to him as his own closed too late around the cloth, "Keepsake, is it?" Nori inquired, wiggling his brows suggestively and holding up the towel he had snatched away from him for all to see.

"That's not yours." Kíli bit out, attempting to get it back but his hands clutched at nothing but air as Nori held the towel just out of reach, saying smartly, "Not yours, either."

"Fine. Keep it. I was only going to hang it to dry. By stealing it from me you just saved me the trouble." He gave up with an indifferent shrug that didn't seem to convince any of the other dwarves. "What? I was _not_ distracted by her."

"Of course not. She can't possibly be the reason why you didn't even manage to finish two helpings, poured mustard into your own ale, which you haven't touched, and also attempted to eat that chicken leg with a spoon for half the evening."

Laughter erupted from all sides around him, Nori exclaiming between loud snorts "Guilty as charged!" as Ori was reduced to a series of uncontrolled hiccup-like snickering while Oín glanced down at the incriminating evidence of the leg of chicken and spoon on his plate before spotting the filled tankard in front of him then burst out laughing too. Kíli forced a reluctant smile on his face, feeling heat rise to his cheeks.

"Never mind us, laddie, we're only teasing. Though I have to say, the truth of the accusation is _mirrored_ on your face, my prince." Bofur commented once their boisterous mirth had died down a little, only to rise in volume again at his deliberate emphasis on that one word. Kíli himself could not hold back a partly restrained snort at this, especially when Oín, instead of joining their newly triggered laughter, shook his head with many disapproving tutting sounds as he frowned and clearly thought back of the scene following their arrival.

"I have said this before, though no one seems to listen, but a hallway's no place for a mirror." Bilbo, that moment returning with not one but two lemon pies looked slightly affronted as he caught the healer's loud and grumbled complaint but, remembering what he had seen in that particular mirror earlier that evening, he wisely kept quiet.

"But.. But what if you want to check if you've got your coat on the right way before going out?" Ori innocently pointed out, obviously not having seen what the others most definitely had since his older brother had covered his eyes with his hands the moment the towel had dropped. Bilbo was the first to huff out a laugh at this and he hastened to put down the lemon pies so he could clutch his sides as the other dwarves barring Ori and Oín slammed hands on the table and joined him without restraint. Bofur only just managed not to tumble off his chair while Nori patted his younger sibling on the shoulder, saying through his chuckling, "You're absolutely right, dear brother of mine. The moment we get back to Erebor I'll ask Dori to move the mirror in his room to the hall too!"

"So.. When.. When are you going back? I mean, what even brought you out here in the first place?" Bilbo inquired once he had regained control of his voice though he still rubbed his stomach as it had contracted with his diversion. The sudden silence that fell however, its heaviness a sharp contrast with the laughter of mere seconds ago, made him sober up another notch and he cleared his throat uncomfortably, "Did I say something wrong?"

Kíli was the first to shake his head, "No. It's just.. We did not come this way simply to pay you a visit. In fact, we're on our way to the Blue Mountains, to escort my mother back to Erebor."

"I see. Well, I'm glad you've thought to drop by on your journey, it's been wonderful seeing all of you again. _Talking_ to you again after all these years. I cannot begin to imagine what it must be like not to have seen friends and family for so long. Oh! And of course you must be looking forward to seeing your mother again. I would be more than happy, honored even, to accommodate you for a few more days, I'm sure my lemon pies alone could make it worth your while to postpone even that important reunion, " The hobbit chattered away amiably until the continuing tense atmosphere quenched his enthusiasm a little, "-only you are not going to stay for a few days.. Are you? There something else.. Something you obviously haven't told me yet.."

Kíli exchanged a meaningful look with Bofur, sending him a subtle gesture that he would leave it up to him to find the right words while he himself dipped his chin until it almost rested on his chest. It didn't take the miner long to explain the situation. To tell their burglar, their friend, that all was not well with their leader. With Thorin. That they could indeed not stay longer than the one night for a speedy return was of the essence. There was no time to lose. Not now the wounds his uncle had sustained during the Battle for the Mountain as well as the curse resting on Thrór's treasure hoard was finally taking its toll. After years of a cruel struggle for his sanity and health Thorin's life was all but spent. Despite the fact that he was of sound mind again and had battled and triumphed over the serpent's spell, it had been too hard and long a fight. _He was dying_..

Being too weak to reign, Thorin had transferred his powers to his heir and Fíli, having taken over more and more of his many tasks and responsibilities, was now effectively King in all but name. It was hard to tell when he would truly be that, especially with as sturdy a race as dwarves and the line of Durin at that, and Thorin's passing could still be many years away. Or it could be months. Days even. Or hours.. And so, to fulfill his uncle's wish to see his sister before.. To see her again with his own eyes before he himself left for the Halls of Waiting the five of them had set out as soon as could be arranged. His mother would have joined them before another year had passed seeing only a few of their kin still remained in Ered Luin but everyone had felt haste was justified in this case and Kíli was certain she would be able to leave with them almost instantly. He knew in his heart that the hobbit would seriously think through their offer to pay him the same honor and escort him to Erebor either themselves or by sending another group of dwarves, hoping that the burglar and the King might yet meet before the end..

He looked up at the sound of shuffling feet to see Bilbo maneuver passed Bofur and Nori to get to his own seat in which he slowly sank. At that moment Kíli felt a coward more than he ever had before for not having been the one to tell him but he was still struggling himself with the reality that he might soon lose his uncle who he loved so dearly. That he would be taken away from them. From _him_. He swallowed down a lump in his throat, feeling it was torture enough to now see the pain gathering in the hobbit's eyes when he visibly fought back tears and puffed out a long, deep breath as the horrible truth and the inevitable outcome of it sank in.

Oín was the first to stir from his saddened numbness and started to gather the empty plates, bowls and platters but at this the hobbit quickly got to his feet. Waving away all of their offers to help with clearing the table he practically shooed them out of his kitchen. Recognizing his need to be alone for a moment, the dwarves eventually complied. They trickled out of the kitchen one by one and retreated to the sitting room. Kíli thought he could hear a stifled sob and the clattering of dishes and cutlery in a water-filled sink and, as he dropped into an armchair in a corner but still close to the fire, he could only think back of that moment now almost four months ago when he had parted with Thorin, feeling it had been too much like a final farewell that he was not yet ready for. At first he had not wanted to leave his side, and both he and his brother had opposed to taking Oín with them but his uncle had insisted his sister travel with the most experienced healer to be found among the dwarves of Erebor. There was no real hope for his full recovery anymore and he had argued he would therefore not need a healer when the end came. Whenever it would come.

Kíli sat forward, elbows resting on his knees as he stared into the flames. It had been so hard saying goodbye. After all, he did not know whether Thorin would still be alive upon his return. And yet he could not just look on and see him suffer and not want that to be over no matter how much he still wanted to talk with him, hear his voice, see his caring smile as well as his stern scowl he so often directed at him. Deep down he felt selfish for wanting his King's heart to last as long as it would hold out but the thought of losing Thorin who had been more of a father than an uncle to him, who had always been there, was unbearable. That the quest he had sat out on would be the end of him yet was unthinkable. _Unfair_.. That that vile dragon and monster that was Azog, the forces of evil, would even now take the best with them to their doom made his blood boil. And he could not forgive himself for having failed Thorin. _For risking it all. For that stupid mistake. For not having been there when he should have been_..

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Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think of it so far! :)

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 **A/N: So I realize the story is a little slow to pick up, I wanted to use the first few chapters to sort of ease into it (including giving the characters a chance to do so too) but next chapter will start to set things in motion. Also, I don't intend this to turn into a slow-burn romance but not want it to feel rushed or like a love-at-first-sight kind of thing either, hopefully the pace is going to be just in between all of those. :)  
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	4. Chapter 4

**A/N : No real announcement except that I wanted to thanks those who reviewed/followed/faved and to wish everyone a fantastic Christmas! :D**

 **Ryndell** : _I'm so glad you like it and even happier that you let me know: that really motivates me! Thanks for taking the time to review!_

 **yasminasfeir1:** _Thanks for your review! I hope you'll like this chapter too! :D_

 **Jord-El:** _It totally makes my day when I get positive reviews like yours! Thanks and I hope I can keep the story interesting!_

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 **Disclaimer:** I don't own The Hobbit, I'm just another fangirl that can't get enough of borrowing PJ&Tolkien's brilliant characters for her own 'evil' purposes.. ;p

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 **-Chapter 4-**

Feeling I glowed sufficiently out of embarrassment to light the bedroom I found myself in, I was nevertheless glad there was a candle lit that hung from a wall sconce not too far from the door. Luckily it had not been extinguished by my whirlwind entry what felt like hours ago but in reality it couldn't have been that long. _Could it_?

The first thing I had done was to drop all of the clothes in my hand, not wanting to make them more damp by pressing them against my wet body. Then I had quickly scuttled over to an oaken cabinet and grabbed a random sheet from the middle shelf to rub myself dry. Wrapping it around my head, kneading my dripping hair with my knuckles to hurry up the process, I had felt a little like a bride getting ready for her wedding as the white sheet dragged behind me over the floor like a trail before I kneeled down in front of the heap made out of the strangest garments I had ever seen.

It had felt a little like dressing up for either a costumed ball or one of those annoying school plays as I held up each piece of clothing for closer examination. In the end, and it had taken me quite some time, I had selected a loose fitting tunic I could not judge the color of in the weak glow of the single flame and pulled the separate bodice belonging to the flowery dress of Bilbo's mother -relieved it didn't contain the same tacky pattern but was a dull brown instead- over it. The moment I had tied the laces running through it and zigzagging across I had almost cried out for my much more comfortable bra. Still, with the breeches that fit me surprisingly well and a pair of leather boots on my woolly stocking-covered feet I felt a whole lot better and above all _presentable_. The one thing I knew I really had to get use to, however, was the weird onesie I assumed had been either a pajama or underwear -possibly both- and which already made me itch in all the wrong places.

Gathering my courage I had then opened the door and stolen a peek through the crack. I hadn't been able to see anything that way of course but the opening had let through more sound and I had heard the unmistakable noises of dwarves devouring possibly anything within reach with a speed that could make a hippo jealous. Hesitant to join them, feeling still so awkward and out of place, I had squeezed out of the room and stealthily, or so I thought even though that effort on my part was entirely unnecessary seeing the raucous company was so loud a herd of elephants could have stomped through the hall without being notice by any of them, made my way to the bathroom.

It was a desperate attempt to turn back whatever had happened but I felt I had to try. And so I opened and closed, reopened and closed, flung it wide and slammed shut again the door I had come through over and over and over again.. But the room behind it would not change to the one belonging to my world. Finally I had sank down against it after another fruitless try, knocking over or throwing away from me anything within reach in my frustration, while I swore under my breath and tears welled up in the corners of my eyes. It was then that a soft knock had penetrated my misery.

Taken by surprise by Kíli's thoughtfulness, he had been pretty intimidating earlier, I had felt a complete idiot that instead of opening the door I had talked with him _through_ it, and I could only hope he would not be offended. I was grateful for the plate of food he had brought me now my swirling thoughts and the string of new and confusing impressions had made me completely forget about my hunger. The smell of potatoes, mushrooms and ham had soon reminded me. Perching myself on the closed toilet seat, plate resting on my lap, I had dug in, feeling myself calm down with every bite I took as if the prime instinct to replenish on nutrition chased away all else from my mind.

It wasn't long before I felt saturated and, walking over the sink to turn on the tap I leaned down and tilted my head to the side so I could quench my thirst too. Soon, though, I froze when I thought I could hear a distinct humming that instantly prickled pretty much all of my senses. Water trickling down my chin I hurriedly stopped the flow of it and straightened, wiping it dry with the back of my hand as I moved forward to open the door slightly. I had heard the unmistakable sounds of laughter and lively talk throughout my self-exile like a steady buzzing in the background but something had changed. The atmosphere in the hobbit hole seemed to have tipped and it was all quiet safe for low baritone voices that sang together in low tones. I could not make out the words but the song resonated through my entire body and I found myself gripped by it.

Like a moth to a candle I let myself be drawn closer and closer until my toes bumped into the threshold leading to the gloomy living room where all five dwarves and their host had gathered. Their voices were so deep that I felt a powerful tremble constantly travel up and down my spine as I listened. And that was all I could do. It's also how I finally understood why the tune made me sad. Why my heart swelled then contracted painfully as the meaning of the words sank in. It was about Thorin. It was a lament for the King under the Mountain's coming death..

I leaned against the frame for support as the realization brought tears to my eyes and made my knees almost buckle. I couldn't explain to myself why this news should hit me this hard, why I should care so much about a fictional dwarf I had followed countless times as he had taken his nephews and the others of the company including Bilbo on his quest to reclaim Erebor. After all, I _had_ watched him die over and over and over again. Only he wasn't dead here. Not yet. And he also wasn't fictional.. Not in this world. _Where even was this world_? _Had I really crossed over from New Zealand into Middle Earth_?

The moment I felt a tear escape the clutches of my wavering self-control my eyes locked with the dwarf staring at me from a tucked away corner on the other side of the room. As it trickled down my face leaving that warm, itchy and wet sensation behind I couldn't immediately look away from his intense gaze. Kíli's hair cascaded only just passed his shoulders and had acquired the dark color of the shadows that closed in on him from behind, whereas his eyes reflected the warm light of the fire blazing in the hearth, transforming them to glowing embers set below furrowed brows. I felt at once exposed and harbored in the look he gave me and it was incredibly hard to tear my eyes away. Biting my lip while my tongue tasted the saltiness of my tears on it I pushed myself away from the frame, turned my back on the scene and fled back to the bedroom I'd been in earlier.

Refusing to think, to _feel_ , for it was all too much at the moment and threatened to crash into me like a forceful wave, I kicked off my boots, crawled into the bed and pulled the blanket all the way over my head. I rolled myself up into a ball to stifle sobs trying to burst free, softly crying myself to sleep and knowing that in my dreams I would continue to for the dwarven King that was dying and myself for it felt like I had died a little too at that moment; _my old life was in all likelihood gone_..

The last thought to enter my mind before I closed my tired, watery eyes and drifted off, was that what made me saddest of all was that between those two, between learning of Thorin's fate and the insecurity of my own, I wasn't sure I felt most strongly affected by the one I really should..

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Rings of smoke of every imaginable color and size floated near the ceiling, drifting lazily, then colliding and dissolving, then orbiting each other in a mesmerizing dance. Kíli smirked as he looked down to Bofur who had also eagerly observed the duel overhead. The blue ring he had sent up had chased and finally caught up to the miner's green one.

"My win I think." He announced triumphantly but before Bofur could respond to his claim there was a shuffling of bare feet on wood and Bilbo appeared from the kitchen. He cleared his throat importantly as he stood in the center of the living room with his back to the fire. A floorboard creaked as he shifted his weight and then, when the words he wanted to say remained stuck in his throat, he swiftly turned on his heels and stretched out his hands, all ten fingers sprawled and wriggling for warmth that his heart rather than his body was in need of.

One by one the dwarves forgot the pipes in their hands and Bofur's solitary humming was soon joined by that of the others in unspoken support of their host and themselves. The combined voices grew in volume as they sang of their King. Of his deeds in the past. Of his recent victory and reign. And of the uncertain future in which he might live on in legend but not among them..

Spotting movement from the corner of his eye, Kíli felt his breath hitch and the next moment his voice faltered until it faded away from the song the others continued undisturbed. The girl stood as unmoving as a statue, hovering on the threshold, slender form resting against the curved frame of the arch that divided the hallway from the living room. Her unguarded fascination with what her eyes saw, or rather her ears listened to as she seemed to hold her breath unknowingly too, made it difficult to look away from her face. The trance she was had lent it a serenity he found intriguing. Kíli slightly narrowed his eyes as he curiously studied hers. In the scarce light it was difficult to tell but he suspected they were a greenish shade that was closest to that of a jade or aventurine stone. At the specific comparison he felt his mouth quirk as he pictured Balin's look of surprise at retaining any of the knowledge he had tried to have him cram into his head when he had been but a dwarrowling. Maybe, once they got back to Erebor, he should tell his old teacher that not all of his efforts and endlessly long lessons had been in vain.

Her hair, however, would not be that easily described. It was shorter than he had ever seen on a woman of any race. It was straight, silk like, barely crazed her shoulders and was tucked behind her ears. And as for its… _unusual_ color. Now that it had dried it appeared as if it was covered in a fine layer of dust. A hue that reminded him of his gray pony's mane. And yet. There was a fairer color mingling with it, similar to his brother's hair. _How could her hair be two colors at the same time_..?

Becoming more and more puzzled with her appearance, Kíli let his gaze stray over her small nose and took in the strange assortment of mismatching clothes she had put on. She was wearing something that looked like the outer corset of a woman hobbit's dress over the knee-length maroon tunic he instantly recognized as his own. The reddish fabric made it look like fire in contrast with the ash colored strands of her hair framing her face. Underneath he saw Bofur's velvet breeches, Oín's boots, and he thought he could see two socks peek over their rims, each belonging to a different pair owned by Ori and Nori respectively.

Something he could not explain made him look up again and he only just resisted the impulse to rise to his feet when he saw a single tear roll down her cheek. Next moment her eyes widened as they found and stared back into his own. He saw how she bit her lip then, with a startled movement, retreated and slipped back into the darkened hallway.

 _Who was she_? She seemed to know him. His name at least. But _how_? He had never met her in his life. If he had.. Kíli sagged back into the embrace of the armchair, fingers fumbling with the pipe in his hands, the song around him filling his entire being though it did not stop his thoughts from wandering. He knew he had never seen her until today. If he _had_ met her before.. _Then he was sure he would have remembered_.

* * *

Waking up to birdsong instead of cars revving past or my alarm clock wailing like a pig being skewered alive was… _different_. It was also a little annoying. Apparently the local blackbird and sparrow population considered what must be the equivalent of five or six a.m. the right time for a chirping competition. I reluctantly got out of bed and stretched my arms over my head. That exercise done I ambled through the unfamiliar room that somehow looked the same and yet completely different in the growing brightness of an early morning. With every aimless step I took the reality of what had happened seeped back into my mind.

I felt a sense of panic rise inside me and set a course for the small round window through which sunlight trickled into the small and cosy bedroom. I lifted the latch and opened it wide, breathing in the fresh air as if my life depended on it. After several lungfuls the overwhelming enormity of crossing over into a completely different and above all _fictional_ world subsided a little. I had almost turned back to resume my restless pacing through the room when I saw movement. Next moment I recognized the dwarf who sauntered through Bilbo's garden and silently took in the paradise around him as if he wanted to commit it to memory forever. Watching him the forlorn feeling that had settled in the region of my stomach reversed itself until it was replaced by one of purpose and determination.

I made up my mind in a split second when normally this would take me days if not weeks or months of pondering and reflecting. Feeling somehow liberated by my decision, one that I didn't doubt would carve the course of the future I would have here, _if_ I would have one here, I rushed out of the bedroom, through the hallway and had started following the garden path leading from the smial's round, green, door when I realized I hadn't pulled on my boots.

I skidded to a halt and slowly lift a foot for examination. Sand, twigs and flower petals were clinging to the wool but I shrugged it all away and continued on with my search. Reaching the gate I spot the dwarf I had been hoping to find, and on his own too, sitting on _the_ bench in front of Bag End. His legs were stretched out, feet crossing over at the ankles and resting on the fence while his hands were behind his head as he leaned back. The sight of Kíli's handsome face bathing in sunlight momentarily made me forget the reason for my hunting him down and it took me a moment to reproach myself mentally for my drooling fangirl moment and approach him.

"Good morning."

He didn't look very surprised by my presence making me wonder just when exactly he had become aware of it as he gave me a half smile in return to my greeting.

"Is it okay if.." Without finishing that sentence I shyly indicate the spot next to him at which Kíli leaned forward, gesturing for me to sit down next to him with an inviting wave of his hand before he folds both in his lap.

"I think you probably know what I came here to ask."

"I do?" He slightly arched one brow, head cocked to the side as he observed me, "I'm afraid you think me a wiser dwarf then I am, miss Robin."

His honest confession invited a completely inelegant snort on my part which was a pretty crappy preparation for what I had to say. I stole a glance at my neighbor's face, seeing his yes glinting with a satisfaction I couldn't put my finger on, but I decided I should focus on the task ahead and swallowed down my nerves.

"I have no home.. It seems I lost it." I stated rather melodramatically, but how else could I explain this? I was only now finding the words to describe what had happened to me.

"I would like to find one again though I'm not that stupid to expect it'll just come to me. I won't find it by sitting still, but I figured I might have a shot at it if I try to seek it out. So.. So, I was hoping that I might.. I'd be grateful if I could join you and the rest of your company." There. I had said it. I had asked him. And my fate may well be determined by his answer to my request. A favor I had no right of asking. And the fact that I had made a decision I stood by and yet had to place in the hands of another increased my insecurity another notch.

Kíli didn't immediately speak. He stared at his hands still palm up in his lap, slowly flexing his fingers, the pensive expression he wore and his brows knitted in a frown the only indication that he was in fact thinking over my weighty question to him.

"How did you know my name?" He finally decided to ask me instead of giving me an answer. Not yet anyway. Which meant it could be a tentative yes but it could also still become a definite no.

"Lucky guess." I replied a little sarcastically, it was the tone my voice usually adopted when I felt cornered.

He narrowed his eyes and pouted his lips slightly, reluctantly diverted but not completely satisfied with that answer either, it made him look incredibly boyish and young all of a sudden. I swallowed again, knowing I would have to try harder to convince him. I mean, of course he would have questions, I was a complete stranger. No time like the present to test whether honesty really was the best policy.

"I'm studying history. Just finished, as a matter of fact. And the history of this world is known in the one I'm from. Including yourself. That's how I know your name."

Kíli sat up straight with a jolt, disbelief gathering in his brown eyes, "This is not your world?" He repeated in a tone of surprise.

I shook my head, annoyed at the tears that welled up as a result, "No."

"And yet you know of its history?"

"Yes. I mean it wasn't on any of the tests. My teachers didn't exactly include it in the syllabus. But, yes. I've read about your world. _Extensively_."

"Can.." Kíli paused, appearing hesitant for a moment before he shoved whatever reservations he had had to the side and went on, "Can you prove that?"

It wasn't spoken as a challenge but as a genuine desire to know. And that made all the difference to me. My nerves, though still present, didn't protest now I assigned them the backseat and I drew a short breath, readying myself to answer him in as steady and trustworthy a voice as I could muster at that moment, "You are Kíli son of Dís, younger brother of Fíli and was born in the Blue Mountains in the year 2864. You went on a quest with twelve other dwarves and which was led by your uncle, Thorin son of Thráin, to reclaim the dwarven kingdom of Erebor which had been taken over by Smaug. Your mother.." I stopped myself, hoping that this would work, that this would persuade him to believe me, and not crush what little hope I had left at this point that he would grant my wish, "Your mother gave you a rune stone. It's engraved with the words _inikh dê_." I cringed at my inexpert pronunciation of khuzdul, not daring to look at Kíli thought I felt him stir next to me and my cheeks warmed with embarrassment, "In the common tongue this would mean, return-"

"-to me." Kíli finished for me, his eyes wide and flitting from left to right as he searched mine for any sign of deceit. His eventual determined and solemn nod released the breath I was holding and I let it out in intense relief.

"I believe you." He said, the ghost of an awed smile playing across his face, "My race is known for guarding its secrets well. We usually do not share our language and yet you know it. What's more you know of the rune stone my mother gave to me when most of the company don't even know of it. As incredible as your story sounds, as implausible as your situation may be, you speak the truth. And I believe you."

"Thank you." To my own horror I felt the tears close to spilling out but Kíli remained respectfully silent, I suspected to give me a moment to swallow down the lump in my throat. Another thing that made gratitude towards him wash over me.

"Do you mind if I ask you another question?" He probed once I'd gotten myself under control and I hastened to give him the green light, "Of course not. Shoot."

One brow contracted briefly at my last word but then he seemed to accept and attribute my strange use of language to my inexplicable emergence in his world, "Do you.. Do you also know our future?" He asked cautiously, voice raw with barely restrained emotion.

I eventually shook my head, hating to have to now I was almost certain his desire to know had risen from the fact that he was occupied with his uncle's miserable fate. "The present's already different from what I know about middle earth.. _Very_ different."

"How do you mean?"

"Well you.. You and Fíli. _And_ Thorin. You are all.. Well, all of you are.."

"Alive.." He supplied, his tone earnest as he had undoubtedly remembered my look of surprise on seeing him yesterday, having heard my explanation the dots were now easy enough to connect. I nodded, not wanting to break the silence that followed his words and it was Kíli who finally did.

"How did you get here?"

I shrugged, "I don't know."

"Then I take it you also don't know how to return to your own world?"

My stomach clenched and I lowered my head, not wanting to say it out loud for that would make it final somehow.

"The shire is a peaceful place, the surrounding lands on the other hand.. Not so much." There was a bitter edge to his voice but also the wish to be honest with me, "You sure you want to leave it?"

"I can't stay here. Waiting.. There's no guarantee I can go back." I answered him, my resolve steeling though I huffed out a laugh afterwards, "There probably won't be a way. I spent an hour last night walking in and out of the bathroom but it did not change back to the one I left. To the world I left behind. To _my_ world." I balled one hand into a fist, the other briefly rubbing my temple as I replayed the different scenarios of what had happened and could be in my head, knowing which option appealed to me the most, whether it had really been a choice or not.

"Look. My life has thrown me a curveball I never saw coming. There was no way I could have prepared for it. I don't think that was even the point. I don't know if there even is a point.. I guess above all, I don't know where I belong anymore. Never really have if I'm honest. But I feel my only chance to find out is to go look for it. Beyond the borders of the shire. Now that I'm here.. I want to see the rest of the world I've read about."

Kíli next to her made a deep humming sound in the back of his throat in acknowledgement of the fervor in which I had spoken. Then, he dropped his feet from the fence and rose, stretching like I had done after waking up this morning before starting on his way back to house. I remained behind feeling a little forlorn and confused by the abrupt ending to our conversation but I instantly turned to look with my head over my shoulder when he had paused, cleared his throat and looked beckoningly back at me.

"If you are to join us you better get a good breakfast in your belly." He suggested and I could hear the faint noises of voices and the clattering of plates and cutlery drift outside through the open door, accompanied by the enticing smell of bacon and eggs.

"Unless you prefer sunbathing to food?" Kíli pressed me with a grin as he effortlessly interpreted the hungry look awakened in my eyes. I didn't need any more persuasion, got to my feet and hurried up the path on my socks as fast as I could to step over the threshold together.

"Glad you decided to join me. Well.. _Us_." The dwarf remarked lightheartedly adding that latter word with a meaningful look at me before leaning in to remark in good humor, "If you had waited any longer either Bofur or Nori would have finished all the sausages. And I've never seen anyone beat Oín in an eating contest, he eats his way through a cheese quicker than the mice."

"You obviously haven't seen my uncle Bob eat during Thanksgiving, he'd eat that turkey alive if he had to." I countered, evoking a puff of air to escape through his nose in amusement though I doubted all of what I'd said had actually made sense to him. I held back just a little so he would be the first to enter the kitchen, giving me that extra second I needed to let everything sink in. Then I followed Kíli inside, feeling relieved an scared at the same time. _So this was it_. _I was really going to do this_. At this moment, with breakfast in the company of the dwarves I was to travel with ahead of me, as well as a new sense of purpose I clung to, I didn't even want to ruin it by contemplating just how many things could go wrong along the way..

* * *

 **A/N:** Thanks for reading! I'd love to know your thoughts! :)

(p.s. the credits for the runestone's translation go to and David Salo)


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! And a huge thank you to everyone who reviewed/followed/faved! :D**

 **Ryndell** : _Excellent question, haha, with his natural distrust of strangers Thorin isn't going to be over the moon about Robin showing up on Erebor's doorstep, I think Kíli has his work cut out for him trying to change his uncle's attitude ;p Fortunately there's still a long way to go before they arrive there, and she'll first have to tackle Thorin's sister and the other dwarves in the blue mountains.. And I'm so glad you think Kíli is sweet, that's how I want him to be but sometimes I'm not sure I'm capturing his character or not.. Thanks for your review!_

 **yasminasfeir1:** _Thanks! I hope you'll like this chapter too! :)_

 **Fuyuko Ame:** _Hi! And thank you so much for your sweet words, wow, you're making me blush (*^_^*) Thank you for taking the time to leave me a review, I appreciate it!_

 **Jord-El:** _Thanks! Reading reviews like yours always increase my motivation for writing :)_

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own The Hobbit…not giving up hope though!

* * *

 **-Chapter 5-**

Oín had almost dropped the ear trumpet at his announcement and now crossed both arms in front of his chest in obstinate defiance.

"I'm sorry, lad, but that is a very _bad_ idea." He murmured while Bofur merely continued to look thoughtful and Nori had stopped midway through packing up his belongings, with both hands buried deep in his rucksack it made for an almost comical sight had the situation not been so frustrating. Kíli had called everyone to him after breakfast while Robin and Bilbo were searching the smial for a suitable pack she could use. Now it seemed it wasn't certain she would have a need for one after all for the impromptu meeting did not exactly go according to plan. His decision to grant the young woman her sincere request had met with puzzled frowns, confused stares and loud grumbling from the healer.

"Well I think it was very nice to allow her to come along. We can't just leave her behind if she's asked to join us. She's lost her _home_.." Ori argued, the only one to have immediately taken to the idea. The emphasis he put on that last word had a powerful shiver of recognition, of _understanding_ , run up Kíli's spine. He cast a gauging look around, seeing the same sense of compassion reflected in the other dwarves' eyes. Including Oín's who seemed to waver in his resolve not to agree with the plan. Grateful for Ori's support Kíli placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it in a brotherly fashion, reminding him of the countless times Fíli had done the same to him.

"So are we agreed? She can come?" He asked the group of dwarves at large one more time.

Bofur took a step forward, an uncharacteristically serious expression on his normally blithe face, "If the lass has lost her home and wants to travel with us to find herself a new one.. Then we are the last dwarves to stop her."

Nori nodded, his younger brother next to him practically tearing up as he too dipped his chin in agreement. All eyes turned to the old dwarf who shuffled uneasily on his feet, both hands demonstratively on his hips.

"Oh, all right." He eventually sighed in resignation, raising both hands in surrender, though the annoyed tone of his voice did not match the look of heartfelt sympathy in his eyes that had finally replaced the wary reluctance they had held before.

"So.." Nori drawled, slinging one arm across Kíli's shoulders, the other bent behind his back clearly to hide something, "Shall I give this back to her, or do you want to have the honor?" He inquired cheekily, dangling the pinkish towel in front of his face. Accompanied by a chorus of snickers Kíli had instantly made to snatch it out of the thief's hand, but was beaten to it by Ori.

" _I_ will give it to her. You two are only going to tease her with it." He remarked wisely, inviting even louder snorts to erupt from the rest of the company after a surprised and collective silence. Smiling briefly, Kíli patted him once again on his shoulder, the irony of the youngest among them lecturing his prince and older brother to behave themselves not lost on him. It was one of those moments when Dori's influence on the lad was more than a little (and _eerily_ ) obvious.

Now the decision he had already made had been approved of by the others a sense of relief lifted the tension weighing on his shoulders as Kíli watched the group of dwarves break up again, each returning to readying their own packs for the remainder of their journey. The task was quickly and almost automatically performed seeing they had quite possibly spent more time on the road than in any one place, even the Blue Mountains or Erebor. Still, each and everyone of them took his time and checked and rechecked their bags really did hold all of their belongings, few as those may be, for delaying their departure was also delaying having to say goodbye to a dear friend.

A little past noon, however, they were all set to leave despite their deliberate tallying. Kíli had already said his goodbyes to the hobbit when the others had still been too busy distributing the provisions given to them by their generous host and was the first to greet his pony. He stroked the good animal along her flank while the others trickled outside too one by one, bowing and pledging and re-pledging their services to Bilbo as they walked backwards following the winding garden path. The sight had a grin tug on the corner of his mouth and Kíli once again sincerely hoped that their burglar would accept their invitation to visit them in Erebor to join in with the celebrations on Durin's Day though he was just as welcome on any other day should he so choose.

"Found your boots then, have you?" He remarked, making Robin tear her gaze away from the elaborate farewell-wishing between the four dwarves and the hobbit. She had ambled a little aimlessly towards the gate and the collection of ponies assembled in front of it, flicking an occasional curious glance back over her shoulder to witness the comical ritual. On her back she was carrying a familiar looking, brown leather rucksack. If he was not mistaken it was the very one the hobbit himself had brought with him five years ago when he had signed the contract and ran after them to join their quest. Robin now looked every bit as fidgety and nervous about setting out on the road as Bilbo had done.

"Not sure if they are. _Mine_ , I mean. Feels weird calling them that." She mumbled back and looked down at the boots on her feet. Kíli wondered whether she was wiggling her toes in them as she studied them a little uncomfortably making her look singularly endearing in a way.

"They _are_ yours." Kíli emphasized the word for good measure in an attempt to ease her mind on that score, "Consider them a welcome present now you are to join our merry company. Besides, you'll need them and I strongly advise you to keep them on and not attempt the journey on your socks again. For the smell alone.." He added, wrinkling his nose in jest.

She sniggered, a pleasant, soft sound scraping the roof of her mouth, "And here I thought you wanted to protect me against blisters."

"Nah. You'll get those anyways." He was quick to crush that particular illusion, evoking another light laugh to burst forth from her lungs.

Someone clearing his throat made both of them look up to see the hobbit hover close by, obviously hoping for a chance to say goodbye to his last and quite possibly most unannounced guest of them all.

"Here. I'll do that." Kíli offered, gesturing for her to trust her pack to his care. She fumbled for a moment with the straps of it but then unslung it and handed it to him as she caught on what he was going to do with it. He did not completely understand her hesitation, it seemed more than just nerves induced, but when she apprehensively eyed the pony behind him a suspicion began to grow. Of a mind to address it later Kíli took the rucksack and respectfully turned his back to the two to give them a moment. As he attached it to the saddlebags bursting out of their seams with lemon pies, scones and apples (intended as a treat for the ponies more than making the dwarves' diet slightly healthier), he couldn't stop himself from listening in on their exchange.

"I wanted to thank you for letting me stay. Without an invitation too. By all rights you should've kicked me out and I really am sorry for appearing out of nowhere-"

The hobbit stopped her apology short, from the corner of his eyes Kíli could see him rigorously shake his head, brown curls dancing with the movement.

"No need for all that. The one thing that comes from befriending a wizard, is that you learn to expect the unexpected.

"Yeah, but still.." Robin bashfully started to stammer in protest but Bilbo once again hastened to remove her feeling of guilt.

"It was an honor to have you as my guest, Miss Taylor." He assured her in his friendly voice.

"The honor was all mine, Mr. Baggins, it _really_ was." She pressed in her turn making the hobbit _hum_ in both humble denial and happy acceptance of that compliment.

"I well remember the start of my journey." He mused after a companionable silence, Kíli realized that observing the dwarves readying themselves to go on his doorstep must have brought back many memories for him too, "And now it seems you are about to set out on your own adventure. I found out the hard way it is best to just go along with it." Bilbo told the young woman, adding in a confidential whisper that confirmed Kíli's earlier suspicion, "That goes for the pony too."

She let out a grateful breath that for some reason trembled a bit, "Thank you."

"Well. I shan't delay you another minute." Bilbo cleared his throat again, his voice formal but kind as he spoke again, "As brief as our acquaintance may have been, I am glad I made it, miss Robin Taylor. And if you ever find yourself passing by Bag End, you're always welcome to a shower, don't bother coming through the front door for I'm sure you'll fit through the bathroom window, I'll leave it open just for you."

"I'll keep it in mind." Kíli could hear her promise, tone tinged with a regret that she hadn't been able to stay longer but also a hope that perhaps one day she could.

"Here. Something I wish I had had on me many a time during my own adventure."

Curiosity getting the better of him, combined with the fact that he had finished attaching her rucksack next his own on the back of his pony, Kíli chanced a furtive look over his shoulder just in time to see how Bilbo put something, a parting gift in all likelihood, in her hand, enveloping it with his own as he did so he couldn't see what it was he had just given her.

"Best of luck." The hobbit wished her well and she nodded her thanks before turning to him again, making Kíli quickly assume a less inquisitive stance, he had still been craning his neck to see what was in her hands.

"Ready?" He queried, trying to make that question sound like an encouragement rather than an expression of how he doubted she would be.

"As ready as I'll ever be." She answered honestly with a forced smile. Kíli returned it with what he hoped was a reassuring one of his own and then spotted Nori looking over from the pony he sat on to Robin and back as if to gauge whether she would fit on it with him.

"You can ride with me." Kíli stated more than informed her, somehow having been prompted to by the behavior of the other dwarf.

"Oh. Uh.. Thank you. I think.." Came her less than happy reply. He looked back at her, recognizing the same flicker of fear he thought he had detected in those jade orbs earlier.

"Unless you'd rather walk all the way to the Blue Mountains? Though it is still close to a week's journey until we get there.." He subtly reminded her, his voice trailing off on purpose. He could see her swallow down a rising panic and he instinctively held out a hand to steady her now she seemed to waver both physically and mentally.

"She won't bite." Kíli assured her, adding more mischievously than he had intended, "Well, not unless I tell her to." The wink he threw in afterwards seemed to do the trick and the fear that had kept her frozen in place visibly thawed as she cautiously approached and placed her hand in his.

It took her a handful of tries to get her foot in the stirrups once she had allowed him to lead her closer to the gray maned pony that had taken to grazing again with the long wait. Then, when she swooshed her tail to get rid off the flies and insects buzzing around in the warmed up air Robin jerked reflexively in fright, almost undoing all of her previous efforts again. Kíli, having stood by her side the entire time, quickly placed a supporting hand against the small of her back so she would not lose her balance. After that, it seemed Robin was even more eager to get her labored climb over and done with for she hopped on the one foot still touching the ground and the third time managed to swing her leg over the animal and land a little clumsily in the saddle. Her hard won success met with an appropriate amount of cheers and clapping and then as he made to hoist himself up to sit behind her, they were really all ready to go.

Inclining his head in farewell in the hobbit's direction the others either copied the gesture or held up hands in greeting as he stood in front of his gate, one hand behind his back and the other raised as he waved them goodbye. Kíli reached around the woman in front of him to get to the reins, stirring himself when she startled a little at his closeness. Riding like this was a new experience for him too and it took him a moment to adjust his position so there was enough of a respectful distance between their bodies as far as that was possible. However, as soon as he gently tapped his heels in his pony's sides and she jarred into motion, he felt Robin slide backwards into his embrace and eventually deciding after some awkwardness that he fully shared to settle herself in it. A pleasant weight against his chest Kíli felt for a moment blissfully forgetful about the goal of their journey and let his gaze lazily wander as they started to follow the path snaking its twisting way across Hobbiton.

* * *

Careful not to touch the moving animal below me I tentatively had the very tips of my fingers clutch at the bulging rim of the saddle in front of me. It was barely enough to steady myself but I stubbornly kept my other hand close to my chest wrapped as it was around Biblo's gift. We hadn't left behind the small village with smials, a square with gossiping and pointing hobbits and the lively pub of the Green Dragon that long ago and now the idyllic landscape consisted of green fields and rolling hills sprinkled with a healthy dose of colorful flowers in full bloom. Feeling secure enough I carefully opened my hand to look at the neatly folded handkerchief in it. I couldn't help but grin and feel weirdly nostalgic, not for the particular cloth that I had never owned, but for having seen the hobbit forget it all those times I watched the movies.

"So that's what he gave you." Kíli said behind me, I could feel him move slightly as he no doubt straightened from having looked over my shoulder and I swore I his hair to brush it as he did so.

"Jealous?" I probed jokingly.

"Green with envy." He replied, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"In that case I bet we match, I think I might be a similar shade at the moment." I confessed to my nauseous state, bringing the hanky to my mouth and pressing it to my lips to repress the early signs of a gagging sensation. "Does it have to _wobble_ like this?"

At my complaint, uttered in exasperated and heartfelt indignation, Kíli stifled a laugh behind me. I could feel it rumble in his chest.

"You'll get used to it." He simply assured me. I shifted my weight, leaning back a little more as I surveyed the beautiful scenery with a renewed zeal now something in the tone of his voice made me believe him.

We continued on at a pace both leisured and brisk, making good time apparently for there was a satisfied mumbling at every signpost whenever we had come across one and for the dwarves' part the few hobbits that they encountered were greeted heartily and left behind utterly gob-smacked. Most of the time the path had been broad enough for two ponies to ride along side each other and Ori had gladly filled that gap. Without requiring me to answer all of his many questions I was especially glad he eagerly replied to my own. It's how I learned the reason for their visit to the Blue Mountains. Apparently they hadn't returned to stay long but only to provide Dís with an escort back to Erebor where she would join her brother to be with him until his final days..

The fact that these dwarves I had practically forced myself on had set out on a very sad mission made me feel guilty that I had more or less begged them, or Kíli at least and I didn't doubt he had needed to persuade the others afterwards, to let me tag along. Not that I had the time or the concentration to reflect on that too much seeing that despite Kíli's efforts to bolster my confidence for the greater part of the day I mostly felt like I was riding a carousel instead of a pony. Sometimes I was sure I would lose my precarious balance and the next I closed my eyes tight when I had been stupid enough to cast a sideways look down. It might be a small pony and not even a horse, I was still high enough from the ground to have a sense of vertigo creep up on me every time I tried to imagine how the hell I was going to get off this thing.

The sun had turned into a fiery ball low in the sky when we had just passed a little village called Waymoot that was west of Hobbiton, or so Ori informed me pulling out a wad of parchment that turned out to be a map and shoving it under my nose. Even if I hadn't been preoccupied by staying in the saddle I still wouldn't have been able to decipher the many squiggly lines and runes. As an historian (or that was what my diploma claimed I was, so kind of it to fill that blank in for me) I had had to study my fair share of maps but for some reason it always took me longer than it should to figure out what was land and what was sea or ocean, where borders started and finished, and I without exception always struggled with the impossibility to distinguish rivers from roads.

Still in the middle of locating where in Middle Earth we were exactly the map was suddenly reclaimed by Ori with many an apology just before we suddenly halted. We had reached a small clearing to the side of the road, just on the outskirts of Waymoot and at the foot of the White Downs that rose up a little farther ahead. Even to my inexpert eyes it looked like the perfect place for making up camp. I felt Kíli behind me shift and next thing I knew he had gotten down in one smooth movement. Before I could follow his example, though I had no real ideas as to how to do this, I froze when the pony tossed its head up and shook her mane as if to get rid of an itch that had been plaguing her since this morning. Even more ready to get off, if only to give my stomach a chance to settle and my behind to feel less stiff, I grossly overestimated my desperate desire to be able to make up for my obvious lack of abilities where horse riding was concerned.

From the corner of my eyes I had slyly observed Oín, Bofur and Nori and was already trying to swing my leg over one side like they had done without even seeming to think about it when things started to go downhill.. _Literally_. I had barely moved when my worst fears were finally realized. I lost my balance. In a desperate attempt to regain it I wildly flapped my arms as if I was going to fly away to safety, then, still adamant not to touch the pony I was on I slid out of the saddle, paralyzed, helpless and ending up falling off the wrong side. As in the side on which Kíli wasn't standing ready to scoop me up in his arms. On the side I landed with an unforgiving, bone crashing _thud_ was a fairly steep descent and I proceeded to unceremoniously roll down the grassy hill like an empty (cursing!) barrel.

When the world finally stopped turning, when I didn't see any longer green then blue as I alternately faced the local plant life or the cloudless sky, I hastened to get to my feet. I tried to ignore the dizziness in my head, dusting off my clothes and yelling in the general direction of the five dwarves that stood assembled at the edge of the path, "I'm fine. Fine! Nothing to worry about." I waved away the need for help when they as one had made to come to my rescue and started to clamber up the hill again. I managed perhaps two or three steps before the horizon started to spin again and I repeated my earlier daredevil move by falling backwards, limbs sprawled and air slammed out of my lungs.

About half an hour later the dwarves still insisted I remained exactly where I was, sitting on the trunk of a tree felled by a storm or hit by a thunderbolt (couldn't care less at this point), as they busied themselves setting up camp. I was more than a little jealous at the ease with which they did this. Everything was done according to a fixed routine that came as natural to them as buzzing did to bees. And here I was, bruised and battered, and banned from participating as they had all agreed I needed to take it easy and recover from my damn circus act. I sent the gray pony a glare that didn't intimidate it in the least, knowing full well it wasn't the animal's fault but seeing it graze all innocently only increased my sense of embarrassment.

When almost everything had been taken care of already I decided I finally had enough of being grounded and wanted to be useful instead. I spotted Ori returning from between the sparsely scattered trees, firewood stapled on his arms, and decided to do the same. I mean, how hard could that job be? Checking if anyone was paying attention to me I slowly got to my feet and snuck stealthily away. Or at least so I had thought. I hadn't taken more than a handful of steps, bringing me to within an inch of a broad oak tree I wanted to disappear behind when a voice stopped me in my tracks.

"Where do ya think ya going, lass?"

I swiveled around to come face to face with Bofur, he had paused in rolling out my blanket for me, completing the circle the others formed and narrowed his eyes at me. Behind him I saw Oín look up from setting out the provisions provided to us by Bilbo and I could just feel his healer instinct all alert and primed. I shook my head, not wanting to be subjected to another check-up, it had been awkward enough the first time.

"Nowhere. Just thought I'd collect some firewood. Like Ori." I explained falteringly, even resorting to pointing an accusatory finger at the young dwarf as if that would help me with my case. Although Oín let out a disapproving _hmpf_ , Ori smiled encouragingly and Bofur didn't seem to object as he soon nodded his approval. From the corner of my eye I thought I could see Kíli flashing the miner an amused grin but when I turned around again to make good on my promise he'd already replaced it with a mask of nonchalant neutrality making me wonder whether I'd simply imagined it. Leaving him to play around with digging a shallow hole and surrounding it with a row of stones for the campfire I started on my search.

What couldn't have been more than ten minutes later, though it had felt a lot longer, I returned to the camp, proud of the collection of dead branches I had managed to scrounge from the forest floor. I trudged to the center of the camp but when my eyes fell on the blazing and crackling fire I realized I must have been away a lot longer than those ten minutes I assumed it had taken. I heard the rustle of leaves behind me as Kíli entered the camp too, and from the exact same direction I had. Not that I had seen him during my search for wood to burn and that mystery instantly woke my curiosity. Before I could ask him where he'd been -more specifically if he'd been following me around making sure I didn't get lost and if he had I didn't know if that made me feel annoyed or grateful-, Nori cleared his throat loudly to get my attention, "For me?"

What looked like an old-style tinderbox in hand he indicated the branches resting on my arms and I quickly nodded, dumping them next to him and the fire.

"You have my eternal gratitude, Miss." He thanked me with exaggerated civility and I smiled back at him. I only found out much later that the branches I'd collected were apparently not the right ones for the fire roared on happily without them and only when Nori saw me cast puzzled glance after puzzled glance at the pile I had personally brought him did he throw them on the burning logs. The fact that all of them were gone in under a minute made me realize that what I had considered branches had actually been more like twigs, too small and brittle to be of much use.

A little put out I tried to ignore the pang of shame at sucking at camping this bad and decided it would be best to take this whole adventure thing day by day because thinking about how challenging an experience this was going to be threatened to overwhelm me already. _And I was only one day into the journey_! Luckily, and this made me appreciate small mercies like I'd never done before, dinner was an absolute feast that evening. Bilbo had completely spoiled us with insisting we stuff our packs and saddle bags with the delicious food from his pantry. By the time I had worked my way through several boiled eggs, three sausages as big as my wrist and a generous slice of a savory pie with beans, carrots and onions my mood had significantly improved. At the rate me and the dwarves were munching away, though, I doubted the jar of homemade apricot jam -a gift from the hobbit to Dís- was going to survive long enough to reach the Blue Mountains unscathed.

Had I been a tad antsy about my first night in my entire life of sleeping outdoors I felt pretty content, drowsy and comfortable when I laid down on my blanket. It was also warm enough that my clothes were sufficient and I didn't need to cover myself under them. Knowing myself, though, I had nevertheless retrieved the travel cloak one of the dwarves must have cramped in my pack when I hadn't been looking and now draped it over my shoulders. Strangely enough I couldn't fall asleep if I didn't feel that light weight on them. And fall asleep I did. I was vaguely aware of Bofur and Oín softly talking on their end of the small and cosy camp while on both sides of me the Ri brothers had already closed their eyes, one gnashing his teeth as he was carried off the sleep and the other already snoring loudly. The last thing I remembered was staring at Kíli's face illuminated by the flickering orange glow of the campfire he sat in front of as he had first watch and then my consciousness drifted.

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 **A/N:** Thanks for reading & Let me know your thoughts! :)


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N** **: Special thanks to those who took the time to leave me a review 3 And a not less and warm thank you and welcome to new followers/favoriters(yeah, so that last one is not a word but you get the point..;)!**

 **Ryndell** : Yaay, so happy you like Robin's clumsiness hihi yes, she's a fighter and won't give up…it'll be worth it in the end! ;) 100% agree with you there, Kíli really is perfect and I'm glad you think I'm doing him justice in this story! :D

 **yasminasfeir1:** Thanks for your review! Glad you're loving it, although I love to be outdoors myself I'm afraid Robin might have inherited my lack of skill in how to actually survive in it haha Hope this update's soon enough ;)

 **Jord-El:** Good! :) Thanks for letting me know you're still enjoying this, boosts my motivation!

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 **Disclaimer:** I don't own The Hobbit, those rights still go to that wacky British professor and the crazy dude from New Zealand…you know the ones! ;)

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 **-Chapter 6-**

When I became aware again of sounds around me, it was actually the lack of those that pulled me from my incoherent dreams. Having been exposed -not used- to the incessant noises that came with living in a busy city where my university was apparently meant that I now couldn't handle the quiet around me. There was no sound safe for the dying fire gnawing on whatever remained of the charred logs it must have been feeding on for hours already. That and the soft and deep breathing of the others around me. The fact that a twittering chorus of early birds was also absent I surmised it to be too early even for them to open their eyes -or more precisely beaks-, and yet feeling sleep retreat from my grasp that's exactly what I did.

I felt my heart instantly skip a beat when I found a face really close to mine. And it didn't belong to the dwarf I had fallen asleep next to. Kíli's chest rose and fell with his steady breathing while his hair draped over his shoulder slid off it in strands with the soothing movement. There was something incredibly peaceful about the expression the dwarven prince wore and I quickly turned to lie on my back before I got too mesmerized with trying to fathom what it was that made me want to watch him sleep for as long as I could. It wasn't an impulse I had ever experienced before but now was definitely not the time to explore it.

So instead I stared up at the still dark sky above me trying not to be hyperaware of whose soft breathing tickled the side of my neck and cheek. Help came in the form of an obnoxious tree root that I hadn't noticed when I had fallen asleep like a log but which I felt the presence of all the more now. It prodded in my spine and no matter how I wriggled and wreathed it would still manage to annoy me. I hadn't expected nature to be this... _hard_. As nice as it looked it was far from 'matrassy' when you slept on it. And there was even grass under me. I couldn't imagine what it must be like to lie down on rock or sand. I abruptly stopped my fidgeting and frantic repositioning when Kíli next to me stirred and I heard a stifled and sleepy groan. Next thing I knew he stretched and his arm flopped heavily on me, its owner unknowingly embracing my midriff.

After that I really didn't dare move a muscle anymore and forcefully redirected my thoughts away from the prospect of the dark haired dwarf waking up while in this position. In this regard, though, I felt spoilt for choice. The entire day I had simply lost myself in taking in the paradise that was the shire and I had deliberately shoved aside any thought connected to the bizarre turn my life had taken. Starting out on my new journey today filled me with a trepidation and excitement at the same time. It was going to take some time to accept what had happened, that from now on Middle Earth was to be my world too. The sheer magnitude of that fact made me feel miles out of my admittedly small comfort zone. There was no point in denying I might well be out of my depth. I was a bookworm, after all. I _read_ about history. I didn't _live_ it.

All my life, or at least for as long as I could remember, I had been content with passively consuming the past, enjoying the images and fantasies it created in my head as I leafed through wars, inventions, speeches and explorations. This was profoundly different. This was _real_. Which scared me. I had never been particularly good at dealing with the reality of my own world, choosing to pointedly avoid it at times and consider it easier to bury myself in stories I could peruse in the safety of my cramped student flat. Now I couldn't hide away from life anymore. Deep down I knew this was why I couldn't stay in the shire. So here I was. In the middle of a story I had read countless times. But it wasn't a neat succession of chapter after chapter. I couldn't just skip days, weeks, months, years. I was going to experience all of it. Every mundane and concrete detail. Every practical and impractical implication of it. Every potential danger of it.. And at the moment I still very much felt horribly incompetent to deal with that, to adapt to it. Not sure if I ever would.

But I had to find a home. Believe that I could. That I could find myself too along the way. Or rather who I could be in this world. The sheer size of that daunting prospect was nerve-racking, paralyzing even, but it was also motivating. Who knew? This could all make for one hell of an autobiography. One day I had left my studio, ready for a holiday undoubtedly the result of my willful overexposure to my favorite fandom before starting a PHD in world history I wasn't even sure I wanted to do, only to end up in the middle of nowhere in a second rate hobbit hole that had transported me to the very world of said fandom. Thing was, the quest was over, it had ended differently, and as a result I had absolutely no idea what to expect. Though I supposed no one alive really knew what the future would hold..

The stars above me started to fade as the sky grew brighter, bringing a careful smile to my lips that curved up. I might feel literally and figuratively lost at least it was still the height of summer and the weather was warm and pleasant to travel in, if I was reading the signs above me right then today was going to be just as sunny a day as yesterday. With the increasing light the others around me started to stir more frequently too and I could see Nori stealthily tiptoe to his younger brother on my left, armed with one of my long twigs that had apparently escaped the terrible fate of his fellow twigs. Spotting my open eyes the thief pressed a finger to his pursed lips, gave me a small conspiratorially wink and proceeded to prod Ori awake. Which he instantly did with a start, hand wildly swatting at the twig jabbing at his nose.

I joined in with Nori's hearty outburst of laughter only to shoot up and scramble to my feet as the dwarf's eyes suddenly latched on to Kíli's arm still draped over me. My sudden movement roughly woke said dwarf and he grumpily raised himself in a sitting position, rubbing his eyes and visibly wondering what had cause his rude awakening. Not of a mind to enlighten him I instead offered my other neighbor a hand up and together with Ori I set about organizing breakfast, my grumbling stomach not the only reason for wanting to move away from Kíli and his suspecting gaze.

Not an hour later I was again as saturated as I had been yesterday evening and handed my pack to Bofur who had offered to store it in one of his saddlebags seeing the food that had been in it had 'mysteriously' disappeared. After the miner chuckled at my suggestion it must've been an army of mice I nodded my thanks and marched over to Kíli and that gray pony of his. After giving it some thought this morning as I had been awake before the others anyway, I had decided that I wanted to sit behind him today. If anything I hoped it would provide me with a better balance and prevent me from looking down too much. And if was honest I also hoped it would make me less self-conscious than when I had been as I had been in his line of vision the entire time.

And so, beaming like a lighthouse, I gestured for him to lift himself up on the four-legged mount first, which he eventually did with a slightly puzzled frown. Without saying anything, though to give him the credit he deserves I bet he had already caught on what I was planning to do at this point, I impatiently tapped the heel of his boot to make him retreat it from the stirrups. He again obediently complied. Next, I placed my own foot in it, grabbed a fistful of his overcoat without asking for his permission and hoisted myself up. How I had imagined this to go was completely different from how it really went. I ended up hanging like a sack of potatoes across the saddle with absolutely no room to maneuver and undo my idiocy. From the other side of the pony I saw Nori get off his with a broad smirk while his companions politely pretended not to have noticed my antics. Taking his sweet time Nori meanwhile walked around mine and Kíli's pony to -hopefully- rescue me from my current predicament. As he counted down I let go off my cramped grip on the saddle and slid back to end up in the dwarf's strong hands, my feet making contact with the ground the moment a loud and unfittingly cheery 'one' left his mouth.

"Can I be of assistance, my lady?" Nori asked me sweetly, turning me around in his arms. Irritated with my own clumsiness but also glad for the offer I simply nodded. He proceeded to shove me gently to the side, took a step forward and turned to face me again, shoulder against the flank of the pony and his hands folded together at a much lower and easily accessible height compared to the stirrups. Without having to ask what he wanted me to do I repeated the process, much more cautiously this time, and was rewarded when I managed to swing my left leg over the pony's rear, ending up in the saddle like I was supposed to. Nori gave me a charming grin before he sauntered casually back to his own mount while I was only now figuring out what to do with my hands. Obviously there was no longer the pommel I could hold on to for support and it felt weird just letting them fall limply to my sides.

"You better hold on, don't want to lose you along the way." Kíli in front of me remarked in a whisper -solving my problem at the same time-, turning his head slightly to the side and almost making me gasp in response as his strong jawline and chiseled features made for a very powerful profile. I shook myself from my trance and obeyed, knowing he had meant I hold on to him.

At first I felt rather uncomfortable and made sure to grasp the folds in his coat instead of actually leaning against him but the moment the pony underneath us started to move I shoved all reservation aside and clung on to him for dear life.

I thought I could feel a rumbling laugh travel trough him when I must have been close to pinching his sides but Kíli repressed it and instead asked in an amused tone, referring to our new arrangement on my stubborn insistence, "Happy now?"

"Yep. As a camper."

"Hmm. Good. I think." He pondered out loud in good humor, no doubt my response had sounded strange to his ears but it was so fitting I had been unable to resist. Nor could I stop myself as I carefully leaned closer to take in the scent of the dwarf in front of me, even if it did make a part of me feel like I was doing something I really shouldn't. But I wanted to confirm a suspicion that had been growing stronger and I soon smiled to myself when I recognized the scent. So it _was_ Kíli's tunic I was wearing. The realization made me softly bite my tongue in what I could only define as sheer and inexplicable rapture. There was something magnetizing about it and I leaned back, racking my brain on how I could identify the components of the scent that belonged to him. In the end I could only conclude that it was the strangely alluring mix of pine trees, campfire smoke and moss and then something else. Something that simply made Kíli smell like... _Kíli_.

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He looked up, his gaze once again having lingered too long on the hands clasping around his middle. Clover –immediately sensing his distraction- had veered towards the lush vegetation encroaching upon the road and he gently corrected the pony's course. As undeniably nice as it was to ride with Robin behind him, Kíli couldn't help but feel he had preferred it the other way yesterday. There had been something pleasing about having had his arms around her. Moreover, that silk, ash colored hair in front of him, but inches away from his face, his nose had been filled with the scent of something sweet and exotic like a rare flower he could not put his finger on. And it had been... _intoxicating_. He had no other word for it. The moment that thought had entered his head unbidden, however, he had dismissed it as a childish sensation that certainly would have made Fíli laugh at him. It made him laugh at himself.

Trying harder to keep his eyes on the road ahead and not lower them again Kíli looked out for any landmarks he recognized from the handful of times he had come this way before. They had been progressing at a steady pace since the morning and were now surrounded by the low hills of the White Downs, dotted with trees and tall grass and dandelions waving in the light breeze, the white fluff riding it like a leaf would a stream, bobbing up and down. Even as he observed his environment, he could not wholly disconnect with the still so new experience of sharing the ride he was used to have just for himself. And with a woman from a completely different world too. It was mind-boggling to contemplate.

In a way, the insane coincidence in meeting her made him feel relieved that despite everything that happened, that had shaped and hardened him these past years, had made him feel infinitely older than he had before, he truly trusted her story to be true. He trusted _her_. He couldn't help but believe her. Even on such short acquaintance he simply could not detect any willful deceit on her side. She was lost. And they were helping her find a home. Kíli had known from the moment she had asked that he would grant her to come along. He didn't know why. But he _had_ known.

No doubt his uncle would disapprove of his naivety, his gullibility even. And as for his brother, Fíli would also have arched a brow at his overly spontaneous behavior towards other races. At his willingness to include her in their journey so quickly. But he had been intrigued by her and his initial wariness had soon retreated to be replaced by his instinctive and sincere openness to others. And that gave him confidence in himself. It had been too long since he had felt that way. He had not completely changed. A part of him was still curious after strangers. _More curious than he probably should be_..

Not for the first time Kíli realized he was in danger of seriously derailing the troop of ponies trotting along behind his own as Clover had taken the opportunity of his once again preoccupied mind to head for the local plant life. He felt Robin behind him sway a bit in the saddle as he guided their gray pony to the middle of the road. It hadn't just been the sudden and slightly swerving motion that had caused it though. For the past hour he could have sworn she had shifted regularly and even jerked upright sometimes, always followed by her grip on him tightening as it had increasingly loosened before that. Now he felt her head bump against his back, only for that weight to be lifted off it again the next instant.

"What are you doing back there?" He probed after the same had happened twice more. She stirred instantly at his words, proving his suspicions right. She was falling asleep. Kíli supposed the rocking motion of riding a pony and the warm sun beating down on them had made her sleepy. If he was honest it usually made him quite drowsy too.

She mumbled back a flustered 'nothing' that made his mouth quirk. "If you are feeling tired, why not take a nap?" He suggested, in the silence that followed he could practically hear her fret inside her mind over falling off. "Don't worry, I'll make sure you'll stay in the saddle."

It took her another moment of contemplation before she responded with a soft and muffled 'okay'. Soon he felt her forehead press between his shoulder blades, lightly at first then increasing as her breathing steadied and became heavier too. Not five minutes later she had fallen asleep. For some reason this awoke the protective side in him. A side he was not very familiar with seeing that with the risks he usually took -consciously or unconsciously- it tended to be the other members of the Company, his brother and uncle most of all, that expected to have to defend him or get him out of trouble at some point. Not that Robin was in any need of protection now. They were still traveling in the Shire, void of any dangers lurking around the next corner or poised to break through the undergrowth. And yet. He couldn't help but take his promise to keep her in the saddle oddly serious. It made him _feel_ serious.

His disproportionate zeal to not disturb her moment of rest and watch out for her, although not lessening with the passing of time, did make him feel more and more ridiculous. It was a good thing the others could not guess at the sentiment that had him take extra care to have Clover come to a slow standstill the moment they had reached the outskirts of the town of Michel Delving situated on the other side of the White Downs. Kíli carefully reached behind him, his arm around her and hand pressed against the small of her back. She woke up with a start at the touch and he was glad he was able to anchor her on the pony behind her until she came fully to her senses. Soon catching up on what was going on she increased her own grip on him to steady herself when Nori was already at her side, offering his gallant assistance to help her off.

The square of the capital of the Shire was bustling with hobbits doing their shopping as well as exchanging their daily gossip in equal if not surpassing amounts. Although it was not unheard of for dwarves to travel through their realm, all five of them as well as Robin were gawked at and followed by a string of hurried whispers and playful children who were apparently more excited than frightened at the sight of outsiders. Leading his pony by the hand, Robin having fallen into step next to him to no doubt be at a more comfortable distance from the animal, Kíli didn't mind the attention they got, the only thing he worried about was that moment when they would stop at a stall to purchase some provisions for the last leg of their long journey. As necessary as it may be. After all, with still three to four days to go it would not be wise to rely on Bilbo's generous donations alone.

A sense of uneasiness steadily building up inside of him Kíli stopped at a stand laden with pies and tarts, turning to rummage the saddlebag for a small, velvet pouch. The effect the tell-tale, jingling sound of coins and the glittering of gold had as he scooped a few out was instantaneous. The eyes of the hobbit standing behind the stall practically bulged at the sight of such wealth and from all sides other merchants scurried over carrying baskets filled to the brim with their fresh produces clutched tightly in their hands.

Dwarven gold was legendary. Even in this part of the world where the treasure hoard of Thror was all but unheard of. The buzz it always created made Kíli feel as uncomfortable as it always did. He no longer felt the pull towards the precious metal, the enticing glistening did make his blood go cold a little as it reminded him of Thorin's descent into madness. These coins, although vital in rebuilding Erebor, had also been cursed. The fact that he himself had felt that fierce desire to possess all of it and call the gold his and his alone had for a long time gnawed at him. He had fought a mental battle not to give in to that urge tugging at his heart, invading his soul, but deep down he knew that his uncle's demise would have been his own. Thank Mahal they had both faced and, especially his uncle, won that particularly difficult fight. How more guilty that made him feel for not having been there for him as he had faced down Bolg, spawn of their ancient enemy, Azog the Defiler. Had not stood by his and Fíli's side who had joined the duel, saving their uncle from a cruel and untimely death.

His brother had shown himself worthy to be crown prince. Had proven his loyalty with honor. Had protected the king, almost paying for it with his life. While he himself.. He had been too weak to even lift his sword. Or wield his bow. He had done _nothing_. And now, after nigh on five long years his uncle was threatening to succumb to all that he had sustained in that battle and with the Dragon Sickness affecting his mind. He had failed him then. And now.. Now his quest was to be over soon..

The loud grumbling of an empty stomach irrevocably called him back to the present. Kíli flicked a look sideways to the person standing next to him. Robin had shuffled considerably closer to him now hobbits closed in from every direction, pushing the competition out of the way and jockeying for the best position to display whatever it was they were trying to sell.

"Hungry?" He asked her needlessly, leaning towards her so she would be able to catch his words over the noisy hobbits. She nodded, the expression on her face a mix of embarrassment and discomfort. Wanting to leave again as soon as possible himself, Kíli proceeded to give the large bellied hobbit instructions about what he needed. Ori and Bofur turned up to carry their new provisions with them as they made their slow but steady way from the square. Luckily their ponies alone made sure that the crowd had to disperse to let them through and Kíli couldn't hold back a relieved sigh once they had left the town of Michel Delving behind. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy the talkative and hospitable if not downright mercenary nature of the hobbits, they were a merry people that liked the good things in life like food, ale and music, just like dwarves in fact, but he found himself increasingly less in the mood to participate in that.

They made camp a little away from the Great East road they had started to follow, tomorrow it would take them across the western borders of the shire. As he took care of the ponies, making sure they were all munching away happily in their haversacks, he spotted Ori taking off with Robin, no doubt to teach her the noble art of collecting firewood while his sibling afterwards took it upon himself to instruct her how to actually turn it into a fire.

Kíli wasn't sure why his stomach stirred in something close to protest as he observed the three, Ori all kind encouragement as always and Nori taking her hands in his own as he showed her how to use the flint stones to create sparks. Bofur and Oín, meanwhile, busied themselves with rolling out blankets and deciding -in their usual, slightly bickering fashion- what was on the menu this evening. When the miner had left the healer to distribute the food evenly over every bowl, Kíli felt disproportionally but deeply pleased when the dwarf lifted his floppy hat to waft cool air into his face, remarking with undisguised cheek, "You _were_ gonna share that cheese with the rest of us, right, Nori?"

The thief instantly whipped around, the alarm in his eyes as he shot a look at his bag, bulging and suspiciously round, betraying his crime in a heart beat. He dropped what he had been doing and stomped grumpily to retrieve the trophy he now could no longer keep to himself. Bofur roared with laughter while Oín looked up in confusion, not having heard anything of what had been said. Ori on the other hand seemed unsure of whether he should laugh or blush at his brother's less than respectable line of work and Robin next to him, tuning her own reaction to that of the young dwarf, simply settled for a small smile that made dimples appear in her cheeks.

Not hungry, though something did wreathe in his stomach all of a sudden, Kíli turned his back to the others, creating a little distance between himself and them. The sun was still warm and radiant and he laid himself down in the grass, legs stretched out and one arm folded behind his head. The thought about how close they were to reaching their destination had effectively stolen his appetite from him. Kíli watched the downy clouds lazily float by, trying to let their calm and soothing passing make him less restless too. If only that would work.. Truth was that he felt an increasing weight on his shoulders the closer they got to the Blue Mountains. To his mother. _How was he ever going to tell her_? _How was he going to find the words_...?

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 **A/N:** Thanks for reading  & Lemme know your thoughts! :D


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N** **: Okay, ngl, RL in the form of a mountain of exams/papers is trying to get in the way of reading/writing/posting fanfic….but luckily I'm too addicted to all that to actually take a break from it despite the fact that free time is hard to come by these days! Hehe ;P Enjoy~**

 **Ryndell** : Hihi, whoopsy, sorry to be mean, I didn't intend for that to be a cliffie, Kíli was simply thinking about how to tell Dís that Thorin is dying and she might come too late to say goodbye…well, that and maybe he's nervous about letting something slip about those butterflies that are beginning to flutter inside him haha ;p Thanks for your review & a special thanks for putting this story on your fav list: digital hug! 333

 **yasminasfeir1:** Yes, well spotted! Kíli's definitely starting to get jealous but he's still pretty clueless as to why… haha ;) Glad you enjoyed the chapter and thanks for the review!

 **Jord-El:** Yep, there's no way Dís will love her youngest son any less for the news he has to pass on about Thorin and how he thinks he's partly to blame for his uncle's condition (that'll be explained more fully later ;). Thanks for your feedback on that the pace and subtlety of the feelings Kíli starts to feel for Robin is okay the way it is, that's always a tricky thing to manage when you're writing it! Thanks for your review!

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 **Disclaimer:** I don't own The Hobbit, all rights go to the usual suspects!

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 **-Chapter 7-**

It wasn't until the third day of our journey (although technically my fourth in Middle Earth) that I was suddenly seized by a sense of overwhelming panic when my hand slipped into the pocket of my breeches and found nothing. When I missed the familiar weight in it and the impulse to check my phone but couldn't for the simple fact it wasn't there instantly made me tense up. It was the strangest sensation. The tips of my fingers itched to swipe… _something_. For a moment I simply didn't know what to do with myself. Not because I missed my phone. But because I _didn't_. And that made me feel extremely abnormal. How could I not have thought of this before? Granted, the situation was weird enough to push it off my mind -momentarily at least- but the fact I hadn't had internet access for over three days hadn't even crossed my mind when normally that deprivation would get me cranky in a matter of hours. I felt my lower lip tremble as the implications fully dawned on me.

No phone. No internet. No messages. No electricity. No cars. No computers. No vending machines. No movie theaters because… _no movies_! It was back to candles, to ink and parchment and tubs filled with luke-warm, reused water. To pulling teeth without anesthetics.. That last thought threatened to freak me out to such a degree that I got to my feet. I mentally counted to ten to contain the urge to wail out loud like a new born baby then -realizing what a pathetic mess I was being- I planted my hands, both balled into tight fists, on my hips. And I made a deal with myself. There and then. Well. More a promise. If I wanted to succeed; if I wanted to be accepted by this world, by those in it, than I had to accept everything and everyone in it in return. Pining after all the things I had seemingly lost, things that I had grown up with and known - _relied_ upon- for the greater part of my life were gone. It was pointless to mourn that loss. After all, all those things were ultimately not what made me… _me_. Or so I _really_ hoped..

My far away and unseeing gaze shifted from the crossroads just ahead where we had made camp to the collection of dwarves staring up at me. My sudden jumping to my feet and the demonstrative pose I had adopted afterwards had inevitably drawn all the attention of the others. They stared at me as if they expected and were politely waiting for me to make the speech I looked very much on the verge of making. And so I decided I might as well. It ended up being rather long and I think I thanked them for their kindness in taking me with them practically every other sentence but by the time I finished -or rather when even Ori couldn't repress a yawn anymore and normally he could even pretend to listen in interest to Oín's incoherent stories- they beamed approvingly back at me.

I felt my own cheeks burn, not in self-conscious embarrassment necessarily (though partly because of that too) but because I should have done this sooner. Thanking them from the bottom of my heart. And it felt good that I had now. It was like a ritual I had apparently needed to perform to be able to really start on this journey. To not just have been physically transported to this world but the _whole_ of me. The crazy transition still scared me, it was beyond difficult to grasp that there was no way back, but clinging to my present, instinctive desire to find a home, a place where I could stay and deal with all of this, was the only thing I had. And in the company of these fantastic and almost suspiciously friendly dwarves, I started to believe that if I tried hard enough I might even be able to find a new one here. _Someday_..

After my passionate declaration of gratitude I quickly sat down again, making myself as small as possible with my arms wrapped tightly around my pulled up knees. Across from me Oín resumed polishing his ear trumpet but not before grumbling something inaudible but unmistakably appreciative in my direction and Nori in his turn sent me a toothy grin while Bofur continued preparing this evening's stew whistling a happy tune and winking cheerily at me. Ori, sitting cross-legged next to floppy hatted dwarf, eyed me a little dreamily for a moment, quill ready in his hand, before starting to scribble diligently in his travel log, tip of his tongue peeping out from between his lips in concentration. I was semi-glad that at least someone was evidently inspired by my mysterious appearance. A shoulder bumping deliberately against mine made me automatically tilt my head sideways to find Kíli leaning in closer with an amused smile.

"That was _quite_ the speech." He told me with a playful awe that kindled little lights in his eyes -they were a chocolatey brown today- and I felt suddenly ticklish as his hair brushed passed my cheek.

I huffed, "Yeah, I don't know what came over me. I would appreciate it if you'd stop me next time I go into babbling idiot mode."

Kíli sucked in a doubtful breath, "Not sure I will. It was far too enjoyable."

"Speak for yourself." I responded dryly, wriggling my toes against the insides of my too large boots and attempting to hide my smile as I ducked my head, chin resting on my knees. Opposite from us Nori had taken out his fiddle and had just started to plunk away at the strings, fumbling with the tuning pegs to restore the instrument's harmony. Short bow in hand he soon struck up a ditty, first slow then growing more and more fast paced, his boot tapping the ground in a steady rhythm. The melody effortlessly enchanted my entire being, making me hum and tap along with my fingers before long. It reminded me of that one time I'd been to an Irish pub and music had filled me, had made my hands clap in accordance with the beat before I could stop myself. Now, just as had happened then, it made me feel incredibly tied to the present. Enabled me to submerge in the moment. And not until Nori had laid the instrument down -allowing the sounds of chirping crickets to swell again instead- did my thoughts stir from their arrested state.

"Can you play an instrument too?" I asked Kíli, my curiosity apparently having started to revive from the shock of being transported to Middle Earth. He stopped in the middle of sharpening his short sword on a much used whetstone, his look strangely darkening for a moment when he stared at Nori putting away the fiddle before his expression became relaxed once more and his eyes narrowed in something close to mischief.

"Of course I do." Kíli stated indignantly, pretending my question had offended him and he looked searchingly around making me wonder what on earth he was doing. He reached out, tore something with a strangely gentle force from the ground in front of him and turned back to me. I saw a sliver of green as he placed a broad blade of grass between his thumbs and pressed it against his mouth. Catching on at what he was about to do I was too late to stop a snort when an ear-grating, screeching whistle rented the air. The sudden shrill sound had an immediate and devastating effect on the others; Ori dropped his quill and covered his ears with his hands, Oín hastily buried the shiny trumpet in his ear casting a panicked glance around while Nori jumped to his feet, every inch ready to either flee or fight. Bofur stirring the stew stumbled backwards over a tree root, propelling the stew in the ladle in his hands to fly through the air and right in mine and Kíli's faces.

At first I blinked stupidly, remarking evenly to my neighbor, "One. That's not a musical instrument. And two." I licked my lips, savoring the taste that melted on my tongue, "That stew is coming on very well, Bofur."

"I don't know," I could hear Kíli next to me start in a complaining tone, every bit the spoiled prince as he ran a finger along the bridge of his nose before sticking it and the stew dripping of it in his mouth, "Could do with a bit of salt if you ask me."

His deadpan voice instantly reduced me to a fit of giggles despite the fact I had sticky warm goo all over my face and the somehow boyish laughter now erupting from Kíli's lungs was soon joined by the guffawing of both Bofur and Nori while Ori chortled merrily and Oín merely leaned forward to check the small cauldron's bubbling content would still be sufficient to feed our hunger.

The moment Ori started to hand out the wooden bowls not long after to start dinner I felt the remainder of my heartfelt mirth take a spectacular and unexpected dive when Kíli got to his feet, pulled me to mine and practically marched me to a nearby stream running along side of the Great East road. Apparently we were to wash up a bit before we could join the others. _Not a completely unreasonable idea_.

Crouching down next to me Kíli expertly started to splash water into his face, cupping both his hands as he brought them up. I watched a moment longer before turning to the babbling brook, reluctantly dipping my index finger in it. I retreated it with a yelp at the cold sensation. If it was this cool in summer I really didn't want to know what it was like in the winter.

Before I could come up with a different plan to clean my face I heard a loud splash next to me and the next instant cold water hit the side of my face. I gasped in horror, spluttering loudly in belated protest much to my assailant's amusement, he barely managed to restrain a mocking snicker.

"Well, I'm all ready for my second helping of stew. You?" Kíli then announced all innocently, also prodding my shoulder lightly with one finger as he stood and turned to go.

"Coming." I looked up to him from my kneeling position, one big fat drop of water hanging from the tip of my nose but I didn't even feel the itchy sensation of it now Kíli didn't immediately avert his eyes from mine. They narrowed with dark, sculpted brows set and the deep brown orbs glistening from between moist strands of his bangs clinging to his forehead. Then he awkwardly cleared his throat, no more than a low, scraping of the back of his throat, tapped my shoulder teasingly with his finger one more time though he did no longer look me in the eye, and left me on my own.

I couldn't explain to myself why but after that I was far less hesitant to splash a refreshing amount of cold water in my face, I rather welcomed it in fact. Although my sleeves had gotten drenched in the process too I was soon clean enough to head back to the others. Upon my return to the camp Bofur threw me a cloth with a jovial 'There you go, lass!' and I gratefully rubbed my face dry with it before digging in when Ori handed me a steaming bowl of stew I already knew the taste of. A stew that got all of my undivided attention and maybe even more than that now I tried very hard not to steal a peek at the dark-haired dwarf next to me seemingly just as intrigued by his dinner as I was pretending to be.

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The thief's absentminded plucking of the fiddle's strings yesterday had as always send a powerful chill down his spine. Music was an inherent part of dwarven culture but the sound of the stringed instrument, now more than ever, had instantly transported him more than half a lifetime back into the past. With the uncertain future his childhood memories became all the more fixed it seemed. Kíli had vividly remembered his uncle's small, golden harp, gleaming in the light of a blazing hearth. He could still hear the unexpectedly tender brushing passed and stroking of the thin strings as Thorin moved his hands deftly over the instrument, evoking an unearthly melody each and every time he did. The contrast between the stern, stoic king and the fragile almost angelic music he could create had never ceased to make him wonder how one dwarf could possess both within him.

And then Robin had asked him whether he played any instruments, no doubt Nori's performance had triggered the question, and he had felt forlorn for a moment longer in his memories. Of course his uncle had tried to teach him but he had been too active, especially at that young age, to sit still for too long. Instead he had more often than not neglected the instrument in favor of practicing in the archery range instead. Fíli had always been the patient one. The one to dutifully learn his uncle's every minute movement as his fingers danced over the strings. But even with his diligence and hard work his brother had never been able to equal Thorin's skill on the harp. And yet he would reprimand his sloppy performance but never really blame Kíli for not having inherited any of that himself. Even that one time he had thrown it on the ground in anger when the tune had once again gone wrong because of his ineptitude and lack of concentration, Thorin had still played him a lullaby that evening to send him off to sleep. Not everyone knew that side of the king. And it was yet another thing he would miss about his uncle. _Mahal_ , he was thinking about him as if he had already.. _As if he_.. Kíli roughly pushed that heavy thought aside.

Only to be replaced by something which had also shaken him more than he was willing to admit to himself: their new addition to the group, Robin. It baffled him how easy it was to talk to her. Usually he would exchange an almost incessant banter with Fíli or in his absence with Bofur with whom he shared a similar sense of humor, whereas the others of the company were too old or serious to humor him and Ori mostly too shy to engage in his shenanigans. But with her it felt… _natural_. She seemed not to mind his jokes and teasing, and it surprised him how much he had missed that part of himself. How long ago it was that he had _been_ that part. It was hard to believe Robin had truly come from a completely different world now he felt so familiar with her presence already. There was just something about her. Something that had him rooted to the spot when they had washed the stew off near the stream and his eyes had locked with hers. He had felt a connection he could have sworn he had felt before. One that both unsettled as well as intrigued him. And he couldn't stop but wonder if.. _But how could that be_?

Kíli shook his head to pull himself out of his reverie that was buzzing around him like a swarm of bees, entering one ear, harassing all other thoughts inside and out again through the other. Behind him he could hear muffled sputtering and Robin mumbling something about eating his hair as a breeze toyed with it and he only just stifled a laugh. Unfazed, or rather wholly undistracted, Ori tirelessly went on with his story. For the passed few hours he and his fellow rider had been talking -a little too excitedly if he was honest- about the history of the Tower Hills that they were heading towards. He had tuned out of their conversation pretty early on, it amazed him how she, on the other hand, only seemed to get more into and not drift away from it, full as she apparently was with an endless stream of questions and remarks.

There was no point in lying to himself though. He enjoyed eavesdropping on what they were saying to one another, sometimes getting distracted by the road ahead or his own persistent thoughts but always returning to their animated voices that as of yet had not lessened in enthusiasm all this time. He felt his mood improving as he listened to them exchanging facts and dates about Middle Earth he had never known -or cared enough for to remember- but then, stomach clenching, it took an instant turn for the worse when Ori started to explain about the history of the three towers the hills they traveled around were named after. They had been built by the Elves of Lindon, their tall pinnacles so high they seemed to skewer the clouds from the top of the steep hills they stood on. To Kíli they had always appeared as watchful yet sorrowful sentinels, looming over him as they looked out over the Gulf of Lune and the Gray Havens from which ships sailed but never returned..

If dusk had not chosen that moment to set in Kíli would have gladly pushed on and camped further away from the structures rising up above them. He did not care for the place. He _really_ did not like those towers. Though it was probably not their presence but the closeness to the Blue Mountains, to their destination, that caused him to sink back into pensiveness now. Once he had tended to the ponies he made sure the others were too busy to notice him slip away. Just a few paces away from the camp, Kíli leaned back against a broad oak, rune stone clutched in his fist as he slid down its smooth bark to sit amongst its gnarled roots that had furrowed through the ground like snakes. He had hardly taken in the shimmering of the sea on the horizon, still bathing in the fading orange glow of a setting sun, when he heard a twig snap just behind him. The sound did not alarm him as it should being on the road and instead he patiently waited for Robin to find him in his hiding spot.

"That is an amazing view.." She remarked in unmasked awe, sitting down slowly beside him captivated as she was by the breathtaking sight before them.

"I have seen better." He told her slightly grumpily though his mouth quirked at his own childish chagrin the moment he had uttered it.

"Spoilsport." She accused him with a puff of air brushing her lips.

"Well, I have also seen worse." He attempted to amend for his gravity and it instantly thrilled him when she hummed approvingly in response.

"I can't imagine what it must look like from up there.." Robin whispered, pondering out loud with her head all the way back so her hair fell out of her neck, the fine strands like a willow's branches swaying as she stared intently at the towers looming over head, "..watching ships sail away and remain behind yourself, not knowing when you'll see those that boarded it again." She added thoughtfully, letting out a soft sigh.

"That is the fate of many." He could not help put point out bleakly, heart stinging painfully.

She sounded genuinely regretful when she next spoke. "Yes. You're right.. I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking when I said that. Well, actually, I was thinking _too much_. Too _aloud_. I didn't mean to remind you of.. Of having to say goodbye to, you know.."

Reproaching himself mentally for having made her feel guilty on his behalf he hastened to ease her mind on that score, "Don't worry, I know you did not mean to make me feel uncomfortable. And you did _not_." He opened his fist, fingers of his other hand tracing the runes on the dark and polished stone resting heavily in his palm, it almost seemed as if it had grown heavier with every step he had taken since he had left the Blue Mountains all those years ago. Especially now he had to break the news to the one who had given it to him..

"I can't help but think of it anyway, of my uncle and what will happen.. But that is not your fault." _Though it might well be mine.._ He added to himself in an afterthought, then closed his hand around the rune stone again in an effort to ban those gloomy thoughts from his mind.

"Besides, something tells me I am not the only one that finds this view both beautiful and sad." He threw her a sideways glance and she nodded with a solemnity that caught him unprepared and cut him to his very core. Before he could say more, though, Robin turned her head away from the far off sea to look at him directly, determination glinting in her green eyes, "It's not about letting him go. It's about taking him with you."

Although the last thing he wanted to do was avert his gaze, Kíli lowered it reluctantly when he felt tears pricking in the corner of his eyes, tears he did not want her to see, "I know.. I think.. Deep down I know that to be true.. It's just.. It seems an impossible task."

"Yes.. It does, doesn't it?" She breathed out with such a yearning he swallowed hard, wanting to know what had made her sound so grief-stricken but he quenched the impulse for he did not wish to possibly reopen a wound he could not hope to heal with any words. Instead he shifted a little closer, listening as she seemed to do, to the calming cadence of the distant waves beating against the shore.

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"So.." I started, breaking the silence that had enveloped the two of us and sitting a little straighter to brace myself for the topic I was about to broach because I didn't know if I would have a chance to later, "Do you think she will be angry?"

Kíli next to me stirred, I could feel his elbow gently bump against my side as he pulled himself from his deep thoughts, frown creasing his forehead, "Who?"

"Your mother. Dís. _Lady_ Dís, I mean." I let out a frustrated sigh at my own awkwardness, "I don't even know what to call her. _How_ to address her.."

"Just Dís would be fine, you are an outsider so we won't expect you to know her title, not that we use them overly much among ourselves." He explained matter-of-factly then leaned forward and tilted his head to the side and towards me, adding in a confidential whisper, "Besides, 'my lady' makes her feel _old_."

"Duly noted." I murmured back in equal off-the-record style, grin tugging at the corner of my mouth. While one brow arched slightly and the other furrowed down Kíli seemed to sense my answer indicated I had understood, and asked me instead in a loud, nonplussed tone, "And _why_ would she be angry?"

"For bringing along a stray dog." I cryptically pointed out, a knot tightening in my stomach.

"Ah.." He said, understanding dawning on him, "And a _scruffy_ stray dog to boot." He corrected me dully, making me involuntarily cringe. Kíli snorted as he spotted my unhappy grimace then tried to pacify my worries, "There's no need for that face. _Amad_ won't be angry, not at you at least.." For a moment he adopted an expression of mock concern for his own safety before going on more seriously, "Our mining colony in the Blue Mountains is but a small one. There being so few of us we have always had to mingle more with other races here than we would have done anywhere else. Our survival depended on it. She or any of the others won't mind you joined us. Now if you'd been an elf.."

"Different story?" I guessed knowingly.

" _Completely_ different story." Kíli affirmed bemusedly. Although I could still feel and in fact _had_ felt my nerves increasing a little bit each day that we got closer to Ered Luin, I supposed I should worry less about it. Kíli certainly hadn't given me any reason why I should with his answer. I was about to lean back, feeling slightly better about the whole thing, when I remembered his insult which belatedly riled me regardless of the jokingly tone he'd said it in, "And what do you mean by _scruffy_?" I pressed him, making him suddenly tense up a little, "First, it's _your_ borrowed clothes I'm walking around in and second, you can't blame _me_ for traveling with five dwarves that don't need brushes to keep their hair perfectly styled." I gave him a scrutinizing glance-over then dryly amended my statement, "Well, _four_ dwarves know how to at any rate."

With a rather unconvincing poker-face Kíli chose to wisely ignore my comment, stating simply, "They do actually."

I raised a brow at him, not immediately catching his drift.

"We all have brushes and such with us. Some more than others. We call them _groom tools_." He elaborated, making a face as he pronounced those last two words as if they were a personal insult to his own somewhat unkempt appearance. Nevertheless his hand disappeared momentarily in a fold of his overcoat and not much later he took out a small, unadorned comb as if to prove he did have it on him despite his obvious dislike, "I guess I don't use it as much the others though.."

"But I've never see any of you.. How?" I questioned him, then realizing what the better question would be said, " _When_?"

"It's a private thing." Kíli said, turning the comb nonchalantly around in his hand, fingers toying with it as he had it flip over their backs arched like a bridge of flesh and bones. He then threw it in the air, caught it and repeated the process, now shrugging too as he resumed as if he hadn't paused at all, "Something we do when no one is looking. To dwarves hairstyles are an important way of communicating status and aspirations. Especially beards.. Always seemed a little silly to me." Kíli confessed, instinctively scratching the stubble covering his chin.

I tore my entranced gaze away from the ever moving comb in his hand, plucking at a few strands of my tousled hair to somehow improve the way it fell lethargically around my face and pouting unhappily when -as usual- nothing happened.

"That'll only make it worse." Kíli warned me softly as if he was the sagely voice of my conscious all of a sudden.

"Speaking from experience?" I countered smartly.

"Maybe.. Here. Let me." He repositioned himself next to me so I would be within reach of the comb he held at the ready, "Don't want you to make a bad first impression on _amad_. She takes her hair very seriously. So you should too. ..I never managed to but _you_ might." He added softly, starting to carefully rake through my hair. At first I felt a little paralyzed now he was sitting so close but as he continued to smooth out tangles and knots I started to slowly but surely relax. That wasn't to say I didn't hiss through my teeth now and then but Kíli simply hushed me lightheartedly making me smile and forget the occasional pang of pain as he encountered a particularly stubborn knot.

"What are you thinking of?" Kíli eventually probed after a lengthy silence.

"How do you know I _am_ thinking of something?" I tried to deflect, not sure I wanted to voice my thoughts at the moment.

"You haven't hissed at me like an angry cat for at least five whole minutes." When I didn't answer him straight away he hurriedly backtracked on his curiosity, "But you don't have to tell me if you don't want to-"

"No, it's okay, I don't mind. Won't survive if I keep everything to myself." I stop him from taking back his question, "I was just thinking of how in a way my life got on one of those ships and sailed away. Or I got on one without realizing it and left it behind.." I needlessly waved a hand in the general direction of the far away sea and the Gray Havens there, then planted it behind me again as I lazily leaned on both.

"Sorry. All of this must be hard for you to take in.."

"Don't be. _Sorry_ , I mean. The end of one thing is often the beginning of something else. Hmmm.. that sounded way too wise and really cheesy didn't it?"

"Why would something sound like food?" Kíli sounded puzzled and amused at the same time, no doubt picturing Mr. 'I-eat-it-by-the-block-Bombur' devouring cheese after cheese unfortunate enough to be rolled in the rotund dwarf's way. I had no way of telling of course if that was the exact thought that made Kíli snicker but the image definitely made me snort in return.

"They were comforting though.. Your words." Kíli remarked, growing more earnest, "You're good at that. Comforting." He cleared his throat a bit awkwardly, "Despite everything that's happened to you, you still manage to say things that are… _soothing_."

It takes a moment for my befuddled mind to process what he said and I was pretty sure no one ever had to me before but then I mumble an embarrassed, "Thank you."

Kíli nodded in acknowledgment, focusing on detangling my hair again, "So.. Do you think we are nearer the end of one thing.. Or the beginning of something else?" His sincere curiosity held a shy tinge that somehow didn't sound like him at all and I helplessly rack my brain for an answer I'm pretty sure I don't have.

"I don't know. You tell me." I not so subtly kicked the ball back in his park, feeling a bit of a coward because of it.

Not seeming to mind, Kíli simply shrugged, "I don't think I can, but I do know what I would want it to be.."

Feeling I'm not catching on to a riddle that is a lot clearer to the dwarf next to me I freeze myself when he does too upon realizing the comb in his one hand hovers over my hair and he had instead been raking through it with the fingers of his other. Then we can hear the unmistakable sounds of boots ambling towards us. Kíli practically jumps to his feet, brushing off some lost strands of my hair as if they were cobwebs he needed to get rid off and simultaneously handing me the comb. I had barely accepted it when he let go of it as if it had burned his fingers now we had briefly held it together and fled away in a strange, disproportionate hurry. I looked over my shoulder to see him brush passed a confused Ori who had just then stumbled upon our hide out. At first it seemed as if the young dwarf decided to ignore his prince's odd behavior and was of a mind to join me in my appreciation of the spectacular view but then he halted mid-step. For reasons that were beyond me a deep, red blush blossomed on his cheeks when he noticed the comb in my hand and he swiveled around to scuttle after Kíli as if I had turned into a repulsive bug too big to squat and he had followed his fellow dwarf's lead to literally make for the hills.

Needless to say I was hardly in a mood to enjoy the enticing glimpse of the Gulf of Lune or make something of my hair after that awkward little scene. I simply let out an exasperated sigh, not knowing exactly where that emotion derived from, and let my hands fall into my lap, not even attempting to toy with the comb as deftly as I had seen Kíli do. _After all, why would I even want to do that anyway_..?

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 **A/N:** Thanks for reading  & Love feedback! ;)


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N** **: Sorry for the late update! Hope you'll enjoy this chapter, I definitely enjoyed writing one particular scene…digital high five to anyone who can guess which one I'm referring to hihi ;) And a huge thank you to the new followers and to those who favorited! 333**

 **Ryndell** : Thank you for leaving me a review! Appreciate it! Yes, Thorin is dying I'm afraid (so sad!), and yes, the reason will be explained later. Ori's too adorable, I can't stop having him pop up in chapters and be his cute self haha and he'll make an appearance in this chapter too btw (I lolled at your suggestion for Robin explaining airplanes to him, right now only Kíli knows she's from a different world but once more dwarves find out I'll try and have a chapter with that kind of conversation in it, sounds like a lot of fun to write hihi) ) and the scene at the end was very enjoyable to write, I'd love to have that dwarf prince comb my hair! ;P

 **Jord-El:** Me too! hihi there's something incredibly romantic and intimate about the whole hair grooming rituals that are so important to dwarves and I just couldn't resist putting it in. Thanks for leaving me a review! :)

 **yasminasfeir1:** Thank you for reviewing! I loved the bond between Kíli and Thorin in the movies so I wanted to incorporate that into this story, I'm glad you think it's sweet! Yup, I feel combing would be pretty intimate, I've always liked this idea that's present in a lot of fanfics that hair and dwarves involve a lot of traditions, rituals and meanings. Sorry this update is so late but I hope it was worth the wait! ;)

 **alliesmiley2:** Thank you for your wonderful reviews! I'm glad you think Robin is believable, I don't want her to be perfect but relatable so it's good to hear your feedback on that. I'm super happy you're so enthusiastic about this story, it really motivates me to continue writing it: digital hug! :D

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own The Hobbit, all rights go to the usual suspects!

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 **-Chapter 8-**

He was both relieved and anxious when morning came and everyone got ready to leave their camp at the foot of the Tower Hills. As always the three stoically silent and looming sentinels had affected his mood, and yet Kíli doubted they were solely to blame for his impulsive side to have taken over all of a sudden yesterday evening when he wasn't even sure he still possessed that carefree instinct let alone that he could act on it so easily again. He couldn't lie to himself though. Never had been good at bending the truth to others either. He knew he was dreading having to tell his mother about her brother's grievous condition. How she might not even make it to Erebor on time to say goodbye or if she did, how it could mean many months of witnessing Thorin's suffering when there was nothing they could do to stop his painful road to the Halls of Waiting. How all of this had increased the burden on her oldest son's shoulders already now Fíli was to be King so young. If only he could offer her a little hope..!

Kíli paused halfway in stuffing his blanket in the saddle bag he crouched next to, not even sure why he had tried to fit it in there in the first place when it usually just dangled from it like a roll of downy parchment. He had never been one for fixed routines, unlike his brother and uncle, but his undeniable absence of mind was starting to grate on him. He couldn't blame that distraction on his trepidation on reaching Ered Luin alone. It had everything to do with that impulsive side of him and how it had been reawakened by a certain new companion they had gained along the way. _But why did he feel so connected to her_? _How could the presence of a stranger in their closely-knitted group be so comforting and exhilarating at the same time_? _Give him courage for what was to come now they were so near reaching their destination but also make him feel more aware of how scared he actually was_? _Support yet also shake the pillars of his very soul_?

It was a confusing jumble of contradictions that didn't make any sense to him. Even less so did the dreams he had seen projected against the inside of his eyelids the moment sleep had finally claimed him late last night. The image of her sitting next to him in the half light of a dying day had weaved in and out of them. And in that realm of sleep he had been just as powerless to resist the temptation of raking his fingers through her hair. He could still feel their silken touch now as the fine strands brushed passed the rougher skin of his hands. So soft. _Light_. And the ash color of it had gained such an enticing luster in the fading twilight..

His gaze had wandered aimlessly across camp, soon drawn to those same gossamer strands now glistening in the pale rays of an early sun as Robin crawled from her bedroll and stretched with an endearing sort of grumble that made him chuckle to himself. Kíli only realized he'd forgotten about the blanket one hand was still halfheartedly fumbling around with when his eyes caught movement and met with Ori's beady ones flitting a little bashfully from himself to Robin and back. The moment Kíli got to his feet and made a beeline for him though, the young scribe scampered off in search of sanctuary in the form of Bofur stomping out the last sparks of their dying campfire.

"Ori..!" He caught up with him just in time, offering Bofur a hasty smile as he looked up at his urgent tone before steering Ori to the edge of camp. Kíli threw a careful glance over his shoulders, ensured himself the others weren't paying them any unwanted attention and began in a lowered voice, "About.. About yesterday. What you saw- Or _thought_ you saw, was…was in fact _not_ what you saw.."

Brows knitted in confusion, Ori looked up at the sky, soundlessly moving his lips as he repeated that enigmatic statement word for word with fingertips nervously tapping against each other in an attempt to make sense of it.

"Look, what I'm trying to say, is that you may have seen something but in fact you saw nothing." Kíli amended but realized he ended up sounding just as mysterious and Ori was now almost pouting and squeezing his eyes half shut in concentration to unravel this new riddle put to him. Kíli huffed out a self-mocking sigh at his own incompetence to deal with the situation he stupidly got himself into, asking, in a hushed tone as he leaned conspiratorially forward, the question he should have started with, "What _did_ you see?"

At this Ori turned an interesting and revealing shade of pink and he gazed self-consciously at his shuffling feet, stammering apologetically, "I-I.. I didn't mean to.."

Kíli felt his stomach clench although he didn't know exactly why. It shouldn't matter but he had really hoped Ori hadn't seen anything. And Mahal forbid if he had he had told anyone..

 _What had he been thinking_!? Just because she wasn't a dam didn't mean he could disregard inherent dwarven customs surrounding hair. Combing it like that was more than a neutral sign of affection. It was something either a parent did with their child or a couple once they were married. And Robin was neither his child nor his.. Nor his _wife._.

Jaw set, Kíli lifted a hand to rub the back of his neck. If his mother found out.. She would skin him alive.. As a prince his upbringing had been strict. There were deeply ingrained traditions surrounding courtship in dwarven culture, and he had blatantly flaunted those. He had been too beguiled by her hair to resist. A sense of guilt stirred in the pit of his stomach at this. Although Robin would in all likelihood not be aware of the level of intimacy that was attached to grooming for dwarves, it didn't mean he could just give in to the urge to.. To be _closer_ to her. _Why did he even want to!_?

And then there was also the fact that in his haste to get away and change the obvious appearance of the scene he had even given the comb to her, practically an offer of marriage in the eyes of more traditionally-minded dwarves. He needed to get it back or somehow tell her she should never show it to anyone, let them now he lent it to her. Kíli groaned inwardly at the though of just how ridiculous this request would sound to her.

He turned back to Ori who had meekly waited for him to fight the internal battle which had kept him silent. The scribe was chewing his lower lip and observed him shyly with a look the interesting mix of fascination and sympathy.

"Look, it wasn't your fault. She didn't have a comb, well, she doesn't have anything from her old life, I think.. And I just thought.. I only wanted to help. So, it wasn't like it was a proposal or, or anything like that. It didn't mean anything." Kíli felt heat rising to his own cheeks as he tried to explain while Ori was blushing a bright red now the word proposal alone seemed too much for the bashful dwarf. It wasn't why he himself felt warmer by the minute. That was because he strangely felt like he was partly lying. But he wasn't. … _Was he_?

"Your secret's safe with me." He had only half registered Ori's earnest announcement when Bofur's melodious voice forestalled any sputters of protest on his side.

"What secret would that be?" the miner inquired, curiosity sparked in his round and somewhat bulging eyes as he came tramping past carrying a neatly scraped clean cauldron.

"There's no secret." Kíli stated what he realized must have sounded disproportionally defensive so he followed it up with a shrug and as lighthearted a snort as he could manage.

Ori nodded fervently in agreement but then wholly undermined the gesture by adding in a serious tone, "I saw _nothing_."

The young dwarf somehow managed to look genuinely innocent and suspiciously knowing all the same before he beamed at Kíli and made to help out Oín who was looking around with a puzzled frown in search of his ear trumpet. Bofur cocked his head, chin jutting out as he pouted his lips in thought. He had only just opened his mouth to no doubt bombard him with questions when Kíli cut him short, hoping his uneasiness didn't show on his face, "Just.. Just get ready to leave. We still have some way to go but I want to arrive no later than tomorrow."

"Aye." Bofur mumbled back, dimples appearing on his cheeks as he followed his backward glance over at the other side of camp where Robin and Nori were talking and smiling an awful lot in the process too. Trying to ignore Bofur walking away as he pointedly whistled an overly joyous tune Kíli felt the hairs on his neck rise when the thief's snickering was joined by her clear babbling-brook type of laughter and he swiveled around and marched in their direction with more uncalled for determination in his heart than in his strides.

He could practically feel Ori's droopy eyes following him all the way and Bofur's catchy melody ironically ring even louder in his ears the further he was removed from it. But still the resolve to prove just how wrong those two dwarves were in their suspicions by treating her like he would any of the company, stranger or not, evaporated the moment he reached her and Nori. The former turned around towards him, a mild questioning expression making her brows arch a little in that half amused half intrigued way they were wont to do. The latter, on the other hand, stopped mid-sentence, grinned with a confidence that he could not place and hooked one thumb behind his ruby encrusted belt while he tapped the bead on one of the three tips of his braided beard with the index finger of his other hand.

"Mornin', princeling-"

Kíli more or less dismissed his cheeky but not less well-meant greeting with a curt nod, unable to account for his sudden grumpiness and also wholly incapable to force an equally blithe 'good morning' passed his own lips. Although he had made up his mind to not give anyone any more unfounded ideas and suggest she ride with someone else today, looking at Nori, at the many sparkling jewels he wore and the brilliant hues of the many rings adorning his stubby fingers, something else entirely came rather hurriedly out of his mouth, "Why don't you saddle Clover today?"

"What?" Robin looked at him, puzzled and one corner of her mouth lifted just enough to give it that subtle and enticing curve.

"I guess you haven't properly been introduced yet. Sorry. My bad." He mumbled through the beginnings of a tentative smile, forcing himself to overcome the strange awkwardness settling in his bones, he had never been one to feel uncomfortable talking. To _anyone_!

He quickly waved a hand in the direction of his gray-maned pony, "I named her after her favorite food."

"Clover?" Robin repeated, brows shooting up for a moment, making him feel strangely foolish for his childish explanation, but then she made an approving sort of humming sound that effectively chased away that sentiment, "I like it. Does that mean she'll bring luck too?"

Kíli felt a frown tug at his brows now her question didn't make a lot of sense to him and he tilted his head a bit to one side. Apparently this was all Robin needed to catch on that he wasn't following her, "In the worl-" she stopped herself short just in time, eyes widening slightly in alarm but it seemed Nori had been more aware of the sudden pause instead of the unfinished word preceding it. Robin cleared her throat a little self-consciously before going on, "Um, in the, uh, the place I'm from, it's said four leafed clovers bring you luck."

"Well, then in our prince's case I hope that's true. He needs all the help he can get!" Nori put in with a loud snicker and not so subtle wink as he patted him comradely on the shoulder, his boots sinking an inch further in the mud with the impact, and then sauntered passed them to ready his own mount.

"What was that about?" Robin asked, watching the thief go.

"No idea. I guess I'm known for attracting trouble. That's all." Kíli attempted to casually brush off the enigmatic remark he was no closer to unraveling than she was. Thoughts preoccupied he had already taken a few steps towards Clover feasting on a dandelion breakfast when he missed the sounds of hers following, "Coming?"

Looking back over his shoulder, Robin was a fraction too late in masking the hint of fear pooling in her green eyes as she observed the grazing pony. Not wanting to make her feel like he was mocking her, Kíli bowed his head to hide his smile and bit his lips to not let a sound pass them. He grabbed Clover's reins, tugged at them to make the animal plod along after him and offered them to Robin with a reassuring narrowing of his own eyes.

"You're strangers to one another, that's why you are scared. All you have to do is get to know each other better."  
Kíli again nudged the reins in her direction, they dangled in his loose grip until at last she took a cautious step closer and allowed him to entrust them to her outstretched hand, his larger one closing her fingers around the leather. He was about to get the saddle when she spoke up, stopping him in his tracks.

"How long do you think that'll take?"

"What will?"

"Getting to know each other better I mean." She clarified, hesitantly pointing at an unsuspecting Clover who'd taken to nibbling on a nearby rosebush. The impulse to tease was too strong to shove aside, and so Kíli sucked in a breath as if he was pondering a difficult riddle, "Oh. Years probably."

"Y- years?" Robin stammered back, horrorstruck.

A laugh burst free from his lungs but he hastened to put her mind at ease now she looked so confused at his reaction, "Clover is usually very friendly with strangers."

She let out a sigh of relief then mirrored his amused smile, "Like you then?"

Genuinely taken aback by the compliment, it took him more effort than he cared to contemplate trying not to show it, instead saying with exaggerated pride, "Yes. Like me." He started walking away from her at an idea having entered his head, calling reassuringly over his shoulder, "So, I wouldn't worry. It'll take no time at all. Especially," he crouched down next to his tattered and bulging saddlebag, rummaging around in it to take out a soft green apple very much the color of her eyes, "if you slip her one of these after breakfast. Worked like a charm for Bilbo."

He lobbed it towards her in a big arch though she simply hunched her shoulders, blinked rapidly and only unclenched her hold on the reins when the apple rolling towards her bumped against her toes. She bent down to pick it up, rubbing it to a gleaming orb on her - _his_ \- tunic, while asking with an amused curiosity, "Do these work on you too?"

Kíli instantly shook his head with a snort, "No. Not anymore, that is. Not since we escaped the dungeons of Thranduil riding barrels filled with the smell of-"

"Apple cider." Robin finished for him, afterwards nodding in understanding. For a moment Kíli simply stared at her but didn't care that he was. It remained so strange she knew a detail like that. Did she really know everything about the history of the quest? Of this world? ..Of _him_?

"Poor Fíli." she mused out loud, thankfully unaware of the quickening and slightly erratic rhythm of his heartbeat as that last thought formed in his mind.

"Poor _me_." Kíli couldn't resist correcting her, lifting up the saddle and making his way back to her, "I was the one he threw up on once I pulled him out of that barrel."

"You're both to be pitied then." Robin concluded solemnly though her sympathy was gainsaid by a stifled giggle and a lively twinkle sparking in her eyes.

The sound of Bofur's incessant whistling suddenly growing louder, invading both his ears, and Ori shuffling past with a mysterious smile made him instantly straighten and become aware again of the weight resting on his arms.

"Right.. Saddle." He reminded Robin of the task before them, though Kíli suspected he was reminding himself more than he was her.

* * *

The stack of wooden bowls next to me grew higher and higher as I rinsed them in the river one at a time. I knew I was probably overdoing it but the repetitive movements of turning the bowl in the palm of my hand as my fingers rubbed the sturdy yet smooth material was somehow soothing my growing nerves. When we had arrived on the eastern shore of the wide River Lune where it forked to snake along on either side of the Blue Mountains it had been too dark to see more than even darker, massive shapes looming on the other side. Now, in the soft light of yet another sunny day I couldn't stop looking up at them, a knot in my stomach tightening every time I did.

The impressive range of jagged peaks were like a row of razor sharp fangs a deep indigo. It was a magnificent sight that forcefully brought home to me just how far behind I had left my own world and had really stepped into one completely different. It had only been a week but already the gap between two lives that I couldn't measure in time or miles had become unfathomable, making me feel that even if I did look back over my shoulder, I would no longer be able to see the bridge leading back to the one I had left without knowing why, or _how_.

 _Only a week_.. It felt surreal to contemplate that undeniable fact. Only one, short week in which I had traveled with dwarves I had traveled with in my mind every time I had watched the movies or read the book. And now I was here with them. _Really_ here. Even though every step I took had been into new territory, knowing that today we would arrive at Thorin's Halls, the mining colony founded on what Ori had told me were the crumbling remains of the ancient dwarf city of Nogrod, made me feel uneasy.

The Shire had been as postcard-perfect as I had imagined it to be and it had also been small, safe and relatively familiar. The Blue Mountains, on the other hand, where very much unchartered terrain which my imagination could not form an image of other than those intimidating peaks that now started to turn azure in the growing light of the sun. _Only one week_.. Apparently life-changing events like being thrown into a completely different and what I had believed to be fictional world caused time to completely lose its meaning and it was up to me to carefully reconstruct it again so I would run along with it, not against it. It felt like learning how to walk or ride a bike, blunderingly and inexpertly at first, but hopefully I would adapt to my new life. One day..

Although my wandering thoughts had already rendered any meditativeness of my chore negligible the sudden, loud splashing sounds I heard made me forget about it entirely. I stiffened and strained my ears like a deer sensing danger. There it was again. The splashing sound of water. I hunched my shoulders as if to make myself smaller and less visible, then I slowly put down the bowl in my hands, not daring to balance it on the wobble-prone looking tower I had built with the others already rinsed.

Was it an animal bathing? Crossing the river? ..What if it was an orc? That thought alone sent a shiver down my spine and I felt even more exposed and vulnerable seeing the tree-line started a few paces behind me. The splashing sound grew more irregular, somehow didn't sound quite so threatening anymore. Still, investigating the source was probably the last thing I should do. I should go back to camp and tell the others. But that's not what I did.

I tiptoed across the pebble strewn shore, trying not to make any sound that would give me away, fearing I was spectacularly failing in this. Gathering my courage when it had been silent for a pretty long while and whatever had been there was long gone, I chanced a peek around the tree I hid behind.

Back towards me, dark hair damp and dripping as it cascaded over his shoulders, Kíli stood on the shore. The river lapped against the tips of his boots but he seemed not to notice as he stared pensively over the clear, rippling surface of the river. I was pretty sure the surprised and at the same time relieved gasp that had passed my lips had been audible but I still belatedly clasped a hand over them.

Apparently too submerged in his own thoughts Kíli seemed not to have heard me and didn't stir. I wanted to make use of that stroke of luck, I _should_ make use of it, but I too stood rooted to the spot like the dwarf prince I couldn't tear my gaze away from. He was bare-chested, wearing only breeches and untied boots, the current of the river tugging at their laces. Between us lay the crumpled forms of his overcoat and belt though I cast those only a cursory glance now my breath was stolen from my lungs as it fully dawned on me what I was seeing.

Skin a slightly darker shade than my own, Kíli's back was both slender and sculpted at the same time, narrower around his waist and it broadened near his shoulders. His arms were muscular yet supple, they were falling limply next to his body although his hands were balled into fists. That sight alone would've had me blush and forget to breathe but it was the traces of scars on it that really made me tremble. There were long-healed, white gashes running along his skin like the river he stared out on and partly faded marks of rawer skin traveling up his spine right up to between his shoulder blades.

I only realized I had moved forward, mesmerized by what I was looking at, when a branch snapped under the sole of my boot. Kíli tensed and with the speed and agility of a war-weary warrior whisked around. I wasn't sure whose eyes widened more as he seemed as tongue-tied and unsure of the awkward situation we found ourselves in as I was. Before I could stop myself, my gaze strayed down and followed the ghosts of deep cuts and patches of paler skin mottling his chest.

Looking back up there was such an intense pain and regret filling his dark eyes, irises glinting like steal and sheening a watery brown at the same time, that I instinctively took some steps closer before I faltered, turned tail and fled.

Waiting for Kíli to join the rest of us as we milled about the ponies, ready to leave, brought back and increased my nerves tenfold. I felt terrible for what had happened. For having run away without saying a word. Seeing those scars, although mostly healed and but shadows of the severe wounds they must have been, had shaken me to my very core. I had hardly been able to believe my eyes that Kíli was alive in this version of Middle Earth. That his path had not led him to a cruel and too early death on Raven Hill. But of course that didn't mean he hadn't suffered..

The sounds of pebbles grinding and branches being pushed aside made me cease my increasingly restless pacing. I let out a long breath I hadn't realized I had been holding when Kíli emerged, wet hair clinging to his temples and forehead, sapphire blue overcoat covering again what I couldn't forget I'd accidentally seen. For a moment he slowed his approach, appearing almost hesitant to come closer, but then his disarming, cutely lopsided smile curved his lips upwards and he sent a friendly wink my way before making for Clover.

Heart beating faster despite his reassuring look that as far as he was concerned nothing had happened I quickly fell into step next to him, a burning guilt prompting me to want to apologize, "Kíli.." he shortened his purposeful stride to accommodate me, head tilted in my direction as I fell silent.

"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I didn't know you'd be there to.. To bathe.." I forced myself to go on now the very fresh memory of a toned chest with water running in rivulets down to his hipbones threatened to sidetrack my thoughts and determination, "I really didn't intend to.. I hope I didn't offend-"

I felt a hand on my shoulder, anchoring me in my place when we both halted, and it stopped me from finishing that sentence. The warm gleam in Kíli's eyes alone told me it wouldn't be necessary.

"I know you didn't. And you haven't." For a moment I felt uncertain whether I shouldn't have mentioned anything but then his reassuring smile eased my worries on that score, "There's no need to fret over so small a thing quite as much as you seem to have done."

I felt an incriminating blush creep up on my cheeks, effectively a confession that he'd successfully read my mind.

"Yeah.. Kinda turned fretting into an art form." I admit sullenly and a little embarrassed with a shrug.

Kíli snickered at this, trying to hold back his mirth a moment later, brows furrowing with some effort, "I don't blame you for my own carelessness to forget bathing in the wild rarely means this goes unnoticed by at least one pair of eyes.. Although usually it's just rabbits or birds of course. I think I prefer you as my inadvertent audience to be honest. Makes for a nice change if nothing else."

It was my turn to huff out a laugh though I felt the light feeling spreading through my chest seep away again just as fast when the expression on Kíli's face gradually but inevitably it seemed sobered and grew sad even. He cleared his throat, eyes cast down for a moment before they shot up to lock with mine again.

"I'm sorry if my.. My _state_ shocked you."

I instantly shook my head, rushing out a breathy "It didn't." but the long, almost pleading look he gave me in return made me grant his unspoken wish to be honest instead of sympathetic whether I wanted to or not, "I'm so sorry you were injured-"

"Don't. Please. Just.. Just don't. There's really no need." Kíli cut me short, a raw edge to his husky voice, "I deserve every single scar. It's my fault that.. That.." he wavered, struggling to find the right words and eventually heaving a deep sigh and giving up, saying in a saddened, almost resigned tone, "I am as you saw me.."

The pained expression marring his looks made me want to take whatever burden it was that he wore on my own shoulders, if only to restore the dwarf standing across from me to his old, full-of-life self but before I could say anything the others mounted their ponies and their excited whinnying stirred us into motion again.

I hardly wondered anymore how familiar it felt to let myself be pulled up onto Clover and she soon fell into a steady trod behind the other ponies. I still didn't like to literally not be the one holding the reins and giving myself over to mount and rider under and in front of me but for some reason I couldn't fathom there was simply no room inside of me for being scared or even get nauseous with the rocking movement. In fact I took in very little of the last leg of our journey, my nerves returning in full force and increasing with every hour and I couldn't stop staring at that row of peaks steadily coming closer, and every time I did my hands clasped a little tighter around Kíli's coat.

Although my companion was as silent as I was, the others were chattering away, recalling familiar landmarks and pointing out any changes to the landscape as they made their steady way back to the mountains that had been their refuge when Erebor had been taken by Smaug. I tried to listen to Ori recounting memories of the place he'd been born in and to Bofur nostalgically exchanging anecdotes with Oín and Nori but it was to little avail today. I simply couldn't stop wondering what it would be like for me from now on. _How would the dwarves of the Blue Mountain receive me_? I doubted they would be overjoyed to let a stranger enter their home. An uninvited guest.. _Was that what I would always remain in this world_?

My question, which thickened my throat painfully and brought unwanted tears to my eyes, remained unanswered when a palpable excitement rippled through my fellow travelers. The next moment Ori let out a squeak and pointed ahead along with Bofur exclaiming jovially "We're here!" and Nori and Oín cheering in unison. I avoided looking around Kíli on purpose and kept my gaze glued to the ground moving passed beside me. I thought I heard Kíli's breath hitch but then he squared his shoulders and I could feel a tenseness I couldn't place radiate off of him.

"What is it?" I whispered, desperately wanting to remain undetected for as long as I still could.

"Nothing."

"Aren't you glad to be back?"

There was a silence that made me want to bite my own tongue for asking but then he huffed out a reassuring hum as if after an internal debate he'd made a decision, "No, I am. I'm glad to have returned. After all, this is my home." he answered, sounding as if that word was somehow foreign to him.

Before I could respond, or had come even close to bolstering the courage I felt I was going to need, we came to a complete standstill. The jubilant shouts coming from the others were echoed and magnified by what must be a considerable group of dwarves awaiting our arrival that had undoubtedly grown ever since the first guard had spotted us and hailed us with heartfelt pride.

As usual Nori appeared on Clover's side to help me slide off and I was secretly glad my knees didn't wobble and fail me when my feet hit the ground. Voice still stuck in my tight throat I nodded my thanks then tarried so that I wouldn't be too much in front of our little parade as we trooped up to a huge, unadorned gate that reminded me more of Moria than of Erebor. It was flanked by two, robust and roughly hewn pillars engraved with many bands of runes. Most stunning of all was the brilliant hue of deep blue out of which it had been made. I could never have imagined these mountains were so aptly and truthfully named.

Then the dwarves around me dispersed, each rushing forward to greet old friends and family long missed and yearned for. Straggling behind them I felt as forlorn and out of place as I had done that evening a week ago in Bilbo's smial. A feeling that only intensified when I watched Kíli stride forward and away from me to receive a loving embrace from a dwarf woman so like her brother seeing her stopped me in my tracks. She held on to her son, arms wrapped tightly around his form with an urgency as if she wanted to make certain that he had truly returned to her, a tear or two escaping the clutches of her lashes as she squeezed her eyes shut to keep back more.

When she opened them they stared a little dazed and filled with emotion into seeming nothingness but then, and making me instantly feel as if I shrunk under her piercing stare, Lady Dís' cobalt blue eyes narrowed and fixed on me, curiosity mingled with suspicion.

* * *

 **A/N:** As always, thanks for reading! Next up: exploring the Blue Mountains! But first, I'd love to get your thoughts on this chapter! ;)


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N** **: Please forgive the incredibly late update! I feel RL is a huge monster with an insatiable hunger that literally eats up all of my time! Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who faved/followed and especially to those who reviewed: digital hugs to all of you guys! Also, just wanted to let you know that I'm definitely not giving up on this story, the chapters might get a little shorter from now on though as that would enable me to update way more frequently, hope you understand! For now, hope you enjoy~**

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 **Disclaimer:** I don't own The Hobbit, all rights go to the usual suspects!

 **-Chapter 9-**

I felt every pair of eyes of every dwarf I passed trained upon me as I followed our little group into the mountain. Their piercing gazes made the back of my neck prick and I hunched slightly, scuttling along like a frightened mouse. Whenever I dared I shot a quick glance at my surroundings before fixing it again on a random spot on Bofur's back. The halls we walked through and the stairs we climbed were all carved directly from the mountain as if it had been hollowed out from the inside: its rock a dazzling blue shaped into unadorned balustrades, smooth steps, tall pillars holding up high ceilings and robust fireplaces in which flames licked around their iron wrought grates.

I tried not to lose my nerves even more as I imagined the latter as fiery tongues poking out at me. Even the statues set in deep alcoves observed me with what felt like stern disapproval. I felt an intruder more and more with every step I took. A feeling that only intensified with the incessant whispers that accompanied me and my companions though I did not doubt for one moment that they were aimed solely at me. Luckily the snatches of words that invaded my ears didn't make sense to me whatsoever. They sounded guttural, deep and grating. Perhaps I should be glad I didn't know their meaning. After all, their rather hostile tone didn't bode well.

Swallowing down a growing sense of panic, and failing spectacularly at this, I almost trip over my own feet when we enter the brightest lit hall yet. Everyone around me slows their pace and suddenly disperses to find a seat around a long, narrow table roughly hewn from the same rock the whole colony seemed made out of. As my eyes rove over all the food set out the smell of roasted meat, potatoes and savory herbs wafts in my nostrils. Instead of triggering my hunger my stomach churns now I realize my apatite has all but left me. All I'm aware of is how tired I suddenly feel. How tired I _am_.

I hurriedly look around me to search for a familiar dwarf and am glad when Ori appears at my side. Both his older brother and Bofur have sat down already, surrounded by a throng of dwarves longing to talk to them, pat them on their backs and share a toast in honor of their return. Oín on the other hand was making his way through the sea of dwarves with a dwarf child constantly tugging at his sleeve despite his mother's remonstrations. My eyes linger on the red shimmer in the child's brown, tangled mass of hair and with a jolt going through me I realize who he must be. _Gimli!_

Frozen in my spot I stare openmouthed at the dwarf child running along his uncle who has buried his flattened ear trumpet deep into his ear although it appears the dwarf woman on his other side still needs to practically shout to be heard. _Gimli_.. It was the strangest sensation to look at this young version of the dwarf that would later become a vital member of the Fellowship. Become an Elf friend even and who would sail with Legolas Greenleaf to the Undying Lands from the Grey Havens me and my travel companions had passed by so close but days ago. I could tell him all that he would grow up to become. _All what would come to pass_..

"Miss Robin?" Ori's brows are slightly furrowed as he looks up at me from his seat at the table. One quick glance around tells me that I'm one of the few still standing. And gaping, in my case. For a brief, instinctive moment, my eyes are drawn back to Gimli, clambering on his mother's lap, then I hurriedly sink down in the empty chair in front of me. I was grateful for the fact that food was the one thing that forestalled, for now at least, any of the dwarves around me to fire questions at me. To confront me and demand a reason for my being their among them. _An uninvited guest_. It wasn't the first time I felt just how aptly that applied to me. I doubted it would be the last time either.

Not feeling in the least inclined to eat I instead chance the occasional furtive look around the table. Ori next to me was recommending all of his favorite dishes that others were but all too happy to shove in front of him, evidently thinking he should be fattened up a little. I suppose that for a dwarf he was a little on the scrawny side but I was once again glad no one seemed of a mind to force feed me anything. To them I must undoubtedly look all skin and bone. But everyone deftly avoided making eye contact. Always averting their inquisitive stares and suspicious glances just in time. Like I didn't exist. Or they simply wished I wasn't there and now had decided that to collectively ignore me was the next best thing. It made me feel even more nauseous.

Only a few seats to the left of us Bofur and Nori were telling of their long journey home and of the Quest, evoking roaring laughter, jubilant cheers or gasps of utter shock. I found it incredibly hard to answer their occasional wink or grin in my direction, no matter how kindly meant, with anything more than a weak, mirthless smile. Oín, meanwhile, was trying to solve the mystery of food that kept disappearing from his plate, oblivious to the culprit being his very own nephew. As always he aimed his ear trumpet at those around him in turn, the slightly harassed look on his wrinkled face indicating he was only half managing to eat and attend to the conversations around him at the same time.

For some reason I felt my hair stand on end every time my eyes strayed to the head of the long table in the hopes of catching Kíli's for I hadn't succeeded yet and only increasingly drew the attention of his mother instead who I could swear lingered in removing her piercing, kobalt blue eyes from me. That's what it felt like in any case. Once or twice I thought I caught movement from his direction from my periphery vision but by the time I had turned my head to look he was in fact seemingly fascinated by the food on his plate, prodding it with a fork, dark long hair like curtains cascading over his shoulders.

A part of me, the _bigger part_ of me, wanted to be back on Clover. To sit behind Kíli, fingers dug in his tunic, and just keep on riding.

Passed the Blue Mountains. Maybe we wouldn't even know where we would be going. Could be anywhere. _Nowhere_..

It had only been a short week, but all the more did I realize now how incredibly safe I had felt holding on to him. How I knew I really needed to rely on myself. There was no one else like me in Middle Earth. A human from a different world. A world in which this one only existed on paper. Well, and on the screen, technically. Still. I might be surrounded by a hundred or more dwarves. At this moment I don't think I'd ever felt more alone in my life. My old _and_ my new one.

How could I've been stupid enough to have hoped I could just walk in here and be received with open arms. Just because Kíli and the others had allowed me to tag along. The adventures and travels they'd been on must have changed them. Made them less hostile to other races. Made them take pity on me.. Something stirred in me in fierce protest at this thought. Something restless that almost urged me to get to my feet, push back my chair and make a run for it. Strike out on my own! …. _I wouldn't last a day_.

Should I have stayed with Bilbo? A vision of gardening, meandering aimlessly through the winding tunnels of Bag End and uneventful walks to the market, where no doubt I would be stared at just as much by hobbits as by dwarves, filled my mind but left my heart tellingly empty. Sitting still in the Shire would've made me feel equally unhappy. At Least now I still had the prospect of traveling ahead of me. There might be a place out there where I could, in time, maybe fool myself in thinking I actually belonged.

Steering my thoughts to return to the present, steering it away from that uncertain future that made my knees wobble even though I was sitting down, I forced myself to focus on the sumptuous dinner laid out before me. Half of a mind to at least try a bread roll I had only started to reach out for it when I noticed the grilled fish near my elbow. Its glazy eyes stared back at me, mouth a gaping hole and scales all greasy and buttery. I instantly gave up on my resolve to eat something. Especially when I also noticed something else. Something that I had completely overlooked until now.

With some plates only half covered with food by now, I saw how worn they were. How cracked the tankards were and how the cutlery shone a dull coppery tint. Even the surface of the table had rough patches because of intensive use. The candles were small stumps and had thick drops of molten wax running down. The dwarves too, although appearing hardly starving, had a ragged look about them. Even in the orange glow of the candlelight they had greyer and more sallow skin than the dwarfs I had joined in Bag End. The lines in the faces of these Blue Mountains dwarves were hard and many. Their clothes appeared mended more than once by hands calloused and riddled with small scars.

It must have been an incredibly hard life working in the mines that would deplete one day. One day soon perhaps judging by state of the inhabitants of this dwarven colony. But it had been their home. Their refuge after Smaug had ransacked Erebor. A new life built from the ashes although never replacing the old one most of them only knew about through grandparents. And now there were only so few still left here. And even those would soon be leaving the Blue Mountains in small caravans to join their kin in the East.

Was that why they were so wary of me? Of the stranger in their midst joining in a dinner that was more of a ritual; a moment in which bonds were forged, strengthened and remembered. A moment in which I intruded upon a people genuinely brought low. That had worked hard every day to survive, knowing leaving again would be inevitable. To have to live on the road again until they reached Erebor and rebuild a Kingdom that had crumbled to dust in the centuries they had been away. A Kingdom rising up after a battle that must have shaken its very foundation. A Kingdom lost and now regained while man and elves vied for their share of the treasure.

As overwhelming as all of it was, especially the part that one day not too far from now I would perhaps witness it myself, I couldn't help but wonder how Erebor had fared in the aftermath of the Quest, the Death of Smaug and the Battle of the Five Armies. I wasn't even sure anymore if I knew everything about what had happened. With the three Durins alive. With Ered Luin so different from how I had pictured it. Apparently it hadn't prospered as much as the movie mentioned, or the book hinted at for that matter. I hadn't know anything about this place. What it was really like. Maybe I didn't know anything about what the past had been. Nor what the future would truly hold..

My brain decided there and then that this was a puzzle so complicated and big that it simply blocked any further attempt in trying to figure it out. Shoving aside my plate and untouched food on it to make room I planted one elbow on the table and propped up my chin on it. Tilting my head I stole yet another glance in Kíli's direction. I was glad when I found his face. And disappointed that he wasn't looking at me. It made me feel strangely abandoned and forgotten.

Seated next to her it was striking how much he looked like his mother. Both had that long, raven hair, though hers was a shade or two darker than her youngest son's. It was braided in an intricate pattern and draped over her shoulder, a row of thick, silver beads weaved into it. They gleamed like dew on strands of ink. Her dress was a dark velvet with ermine fur running along the collar. As she took a sip from her tankard there was a flash of gold mingled with blue as the flickering light in the hall reflected off of the rings on her thick but long fingers. If all of this didn't make the dwarrow woman look regal than her posture alone would inform anyone of the royal blood flowing through her veins: she sat straight and a little stiffly, neck unbend and her chin lifted in such a way it was as if she surveyed not just the hall but everything beyond it from the chair that with her upon it appeared a throne.

Dís was intimidating. More so than I had been afraid of she would be. But even though she had not addressed me directly, or even fully acknowledged my presence yet other than that curt, stern nod at our first eye contact outside of the colony, she wasn't willfully blind to my needs. I was barely able to stifle yet another yawn when a servant appeared, materializing as if out of thin air to my sluggish mind, and offered to escort me to my guestroom. Because of the way the dwarrow maiden flicked a quick look at the head of the table I did not doubt it had been the Lady Dís who had sent her.

Not having talked all evening I tried to say something in response. With my throat as dry as cork nothing but a soft croak left it. I cleared it awkwardly, nodded as gratefully and graciously as I could then hurriedly got to my feet. Squeezing myself out from behind my chair I bid goodnight to Ori, saw Bofur tipping his hat while Oín -with Gimli on his shoulders pulling at his braids- and Nori both waved. To my relief this time Kíli's eyes were already aimed at me it seemed and locked with mine as I chanced a last glance in his direction. He gave me one of his quick, lopsided grins, mouthing 'goodnight' too but there was something dulled about those normally warm, brown orbs that made my throat tighten so I felt as if I couldn't breathe all of a sudden.

I didn't have long to ponder on it though, for my gaze shifted to find Dís once again staring at me. Judging by her pensive gaze, flitting from her son back to me, I thought it best never to inquire what it was that she was contemplating. I simply ducked my head in what I hoped would pass for respect and with a burning embarrassment I could not place I hastened to follow the servant through cool, roughly hewn paths, eerily gloomy and dark but for the occasional torch burning sullenly against the encircling shadows.

* * *

He hadn't known what it would feel like to be back again after all these years. After everything that had happened since he had left his birthplace. The place he grew up in. The only place he'd ever known. _Home_. He had not expected to still not know how he felt now he had in fact returned. Now he had stepped over the threshold. But he had certainly not expected to feel this way. _This hollow_. He was therefore immensely grateful for the warmth he could leech from his mother's long awaited embrace.

They had had little to no need at first to put into words how it was to hold each other again after so long. It was comforting to know he had fulfilled his promise and returned to her at last. His mother had hooked her arm around his as they had made their way inside. He had felt she needed his strength. Had instinctively responded to her wordless plea for support. He only hoped he was strong enough to give it. Outwardly she didn't betray anything of the turmoil that must be wreaking havoc inside. Her expression remained steeled. The hard life she had known in which she had lost her grandparents, parents, brother and husband had turned her outer shell into an unreadable metal mold. And yet he could feel her anxiety radiating off of her as a palpable wave. She had gleamed the truth in his eyes within seconds as he knew she would. Or at least have close enough an inkling about what he had to tell her to have her grow paler and tremble.

He had barely had an opportunity to keep an eye on Robin and he felt torn between remaining at his mother's side or leaving it briefly to return after he had made sure their newest companion wasn't too overwhelmed or lost in a place so different from the Shire and the lands they had travelled through so far. When he had seen Ori hovering at her side nod fervently at a meaningful look of his in the scribe's direction, Kíli had refrained form glancing over his shoulder again. It was something he knew his mother would pick up on and he did not want to risk that. She had thus far accepted his very concise explanation that Robin was part of the Company for the time being. A fellow traveler. A traveler that wouldn't stand a chance on the road on her own let alone in the wild they still had to face on the long way back to Erebor.

Kíli had to exert some power of will to check the grin that tugged at his lips as he recounted the past week. How Robin had seemingly changed in that short amount of time already. Or maybe that was just him hoping that she could, that she _would_ get used to her new life here in his world. Maybe if she succeeded, if he helped her succeed, than he really had no reason to feel this out of touch with his own fate in it..

Just in time Kíli strained his ears and caught his mother's string of questions, uttered in whispered tones. It took him a split second to reset his thoughts, to answer her in Khuzdul now he realized just how used he had gotten to speaking Westron. After all, with his duties as a diplomat of the Lonely Mountain -and due to the reforged alliance- he had had to attend endless talks with the men of New Laketown, Dale and the Elves of Mirkwood. Soon his mother exhausted her inquiries, for the moment at least, and had been satisfied enough with his first reports on the members of the Company, their cousin Daín of the Iron Hills and all the other dwarves that had already left Ered Luin during these past five years and had rejoined them in Erebor. After ascertaining with her own eyes that he himself was without injury –he shuddered to think if she ever saw the scars on his torso- his mother asked after her eldest son. He saw her concern grow in her sapphire eyes, the exact same hue as Thorin's, when he told her of the increasing work load on Fíli's shoulders. She instantly grasped the meaning behind this too. If Thorin was preparing Fíli for the throne..

Robbed of breath after he had relayed the message he had so dreaded to pass on she shook her head ever so slightly and a ragged, pained breath passed her lips. He simply held her hand, the both of them momentarily giving up all pretense of actually partaking in the feast going on around them. He had not been able to tell her how long Thorin still had, even the healers could not agree on that, nor had he told her why things looked this bleakly for the dwarven king. He didn't care anymore if that made him a coward. He wished he never had to tell her the whole truth..!

Kíli tightened his already vine like grip on his fork so his knuckles turned white and his fingers ached. Then he almost automatically looked up and searched for Robin. He had tried to catch her eye ever since he had sat down but so far without success. She was still sitting next to Ori who was happily chattering away, not seeming to notice she wasn't listening. Nor touching the food he kept piling on her plate. Not that he'd been able to swallow down so much as a morsel. But for the first time in his life this escaped his mother's notice. She hardly ate anything herself. While his mother lifted her tankard to her lips in what he knew was an effort to appear calm and in control, he could practically feel her shiver at the prospect of informing everyone else of the bad tidings he had brought back with him.

He guiltily stared at his plate. She would have to announce the king's failing health. Tomorrow probably. They had precious little time to lose before they had to be on their way again. His mother would not want to delay even an hour. Not now. And so he did not doubt their small caravan would be ready to leave as soon as a day or two after tomorrow. He tried hard not to feel the emptiness of the other unoccupied chairs on each of their sides at the head of the table. Normally Thorin and his brother would sit there too..

The hearth behind the two of them was ablaze with a raging fire but he hardly felt the warmth of it against his back. Instead he leaned back a little and watched its glow on the pearly ceiling overhead which turned it into an ocean of stone with lava broiling restlessly under its surface.

"I think it is about time our... _guest_ retires. Don't you?"

Kíli stirred from his reverie and he followed his mothers eyes to find out what she meant. Understanding dawned on him as he spotted Robin getting rather awkwardly to her feet. His mother's maid stood a little nervously next to her. Sitting straighter and mentally willing her to look at him he felt his spine tingle when she at last did. Unable to do anything else at this moment and from this distance he wished her a silent goodnight, fearing it was but a feeble attempt to make her feel less alone in what must be a sea of strange faces to her. Not that he felt less out of place among the dwarves he had actually known all his life.. At this thought he soon cast his eyes down again.

"Perhaps you are tired also?" his mother inquired, casting a sideways glance at him.

He wanted to shake his head in denial, to say that he was fine. That he hadn't finished eating yet even though he had technically not even started yet. That he wanted to talk to everyone he had not seen for years. But nothing passed his lips.

"Walk with me." Dís mother simply decided for him and he followed her out of the hall, dwarves they passed rising halfway from their seats to bow and the ladies reverently dipping their heads.

Once they were alone in the corridor leading to their quarters, walking shoulder to shoulder, she stated without preamble, "So he is dying…" Her voice quavered despite her apparent resolution to not sound emotional.

"All healers believe so." he answered her truthfully, a stab going through his heart each time it did when this one truth became more real. More _inevitable_.

Dís scoffed, hands balling into fists as she increased their pace, "I told him that gold is cursed.. If only he'd listened!" she pressed one of her clenched fists against her mouth to stifle a sob, her anger disguising her true sorrow. Kíli wanted to say something. Anything to take this anguish from his mother. But instead he just continued to walk next to her, their footsteps bouncing off the bare walls and creating echoes that made it sound as if a troop of dwarves not just two were passing through the corridor.

Eventually his mother lowered her hand and squared her shoulders as if coming to a conclusion that required strength not tears, "But what does it matter. What is appointing blame going to change? It is time I return to the keep I was born in. Time that I join my brother. So I may be at his side when.. When the time comes. Mahal be thanked that he spared him this long. That he spared my sons.."

Before Kíli could his mother had already pushed open the heavy doors admitting them to their quarters. It was as sober as ever and filled with dark shapes of furniture that sparsely occupied the triangle shaped main room.

"And the girl?" finally came his mother's demand when he had barely stepped inside. Her severe tone made him cringe. As did the way her eyes narrowed when he remained silent a fraction too long.

"Miss Robin was staying at Mr. Baggins' house in the Shire."

"And yet she came with you." she replied, the statement posed more like a question.

"Yes."

"A small band of travelling dwarfs she had never met before in her life." Her voice was tinged with skepticism now.

"Yes." he said again, with a little more conviction this time though he added hastily, "Well, she knew _of_ us. It seems tales of uncle's quest have traveled to even the far corners of this world over the years."

"Yes. It would seem so." she agreed a little icily, forehead creasing into a pensive frown.

"Seeing she found herself far from her home I offered she join us." Kíli tried to explain but it only served to have her brows arch questioningly.

"Well, she asked me. Us."

His mother let out a deep and enigmatic hum at this which, combined with her scrutinizing gaze, somehow made his gut squirm.

"I just wanted to help. She is lost, _amad_." he argued, ignoring the sudden prickling traveling up and down his spine again. He would not turn back his promise to Robin. Change his decision to let her join them.

Dís eyed him a moment longer then said decisively, "She is also a young woman that has evidently picked up on rumors flying about. Rumors involving dwarf princes who are heir to riches beyond her imagination."

"Mother-" Kíli started to protest but was cut off.

" _Unmarried_ dwarf princes."

The accusation was ludicrous, but how could he gainsay it without betraying Robin's secret? _She was from an entirely different world_! _She would consider him a disappointment compared to the hero he might have been in her history books of Middle Earth sooner than consider him a suitable marriage partner_! The image of his comb that he had handed to her without thinking resurfaced unbidden. He instantly felt the sides of his neck heat up in shame. Kíli half turned away from his mother but she wasn't of a mind to give up.

" _Dashat_.." she closed the gap between them and turned him in her arms so he would have to face her again.

"That rune stone was not the only thing I gave you."

Kíli felt the beads she was referring to practically burn a hole in his pocket. He had never taken them out. Only felt their presence, two small, round, hard shapes under the rough fabric of his tunic.

"It is time. The kingdom needs you now more than ever. With Thorin.." the end of that sentence trailed away into nothingness. She heaved a sigh and went on with renewed determination, "We have to show our people there will be a future. For the royal family. For all of us. It is our duty, Kíli. It is _yours_."

He could only gaze down as she spoke. He knew it was required of him so he gave her a reluctant and terse dip of his chin that was not quite a nod. It seemed enough. For now at least..

Dís leaned forward, pressing her forehead against his and saying in a soft, comforting voice that almost made him long to be but a young dwarfling again that could always be comforted by his mother.

"You should rest."

"So should you." he replied equally earnest and worried.

"I think tonight, despite your grave news, I feel I might actually find some rest. You returned to me. Kíli… My son.." Dís pressed a kiss against the edge of his hairline, flattening his bangs briefly. Kíli thought he could glimpse tears glinting in the corner of her eyes but she had already turned away and disappeared through the archway leading to her bedchamber beyond.

Before he could say anything she was gone. He wanted to call out after her. But he was too powerless to do it. Not a sound came out of him.

He trudged back the way they had come instead of going to his own room and quietly left their quarters again. _Too many ghosts_.. _Too many past, present and future burdens_.

Kíli wandered aimlessly through the halls and pathways he still knew like the back of his hand. They hadn't changed except for looking even more eroded. More _worn_.

He finally stopped when his feet wouldn't carry him any further. Shoulders against the hard rock, he sank down so the unyielding surface scraped against his back. Kíli hung his head and buried it in his hands, willing himself to stop thinking and sleep where he sat.

* * *

 **A/N:** **So…what did you think? I'd love to hear your thoughts! Also, it took me a while to figure out how to write Dís' character and what role she would play in this story seeing I wanted her to be different from my version of her in my Thorin/OC story. I realize she possibly comes across as strict and possibly even cold in this chapter but I wanted her to be realistic in the sense that she'll be fierce and proud and stubborn and not overly fond of other races like only dwarves can be, plus she's had a tough life with a lot of responsibility resting on her shoulders…AND she worries about her sons and brother! anyways, please don't hate her, blame me for writing her this way! ;)**


	10. Chapter 10

yasminasfeir1: _I'm so glad you thought Dis is coming across as realistic! Thanks for your feedback, it really helps and boosts my confidence! :D This chapter is all about some more moments for Kili and Robin: enjoy!_

Ryndell: _Yaay! I'm thrilled to bits and also relieved that you approve of the way I'm planning to write Dis, there's something incredibly alluring as well about her standing between Kili and Robin plotwise, as a mother she would want to protect her youngest son, especially when he's a dwarven prince of the mightiest dwarven kingdom…no pressure for Kili then! ;) I'm excited to explore the dynamics between those three with the rest of this story, but first a chapter that's going to be about the growing bond between Kili and Robin, hope you enjoy and thanks a lot for your wonderful review! 3_

Kirgy5040yahoo: _Thanks so much for your positive review! I'm so glad you like my OC! :) I hope you'll be reading on and please enjoy this newest chapter!_

* * *

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own The Hobbit, all rights go to the usual suspects!

 **-Chapter 10-**

The entrance hall was filled with dwarves that had their heads bent in something akin to grief. Not for what had already happened. But for what they now knew would happen. The Lady Dís stood rigid and unwavering as she announced it. As she told all gathered that nothing else would have been strong enough a motive to leave these mountains before the last of her people had. But she would have to leave in the hope of soon being reunited with her brother as well as every last of the remaining dwarves here when they would finally bid this place farewell too and travel to the East. It was then, after the dwarrowdam had ceased speaking in that clear and commanding voice that the humming began. It was a low, constant droning sound that reverberated through my entire being.

One by one the dwarves walked passed a tall statue of none other than Thorin, complete with a gnarled looking oaken branch which he wielded like a shield. His armor and features too were chiseled to perfect likeness out of immaculate marble. As the procession shuffled slowly and respectfully passed everyone continued to sing in their deep voices which resonated with the surrounding stone. Had I felt out of place yesterday evening during the feast, I felt even more an intruder at this moment. Even though I tried to stand out as little as I could, tried hiding myself behind Bofur and Nori, it was doomed to fail. Short as I may be I was still at least a few inches taller than most of the dwarves around me. That, and I obviously looked very different.

Both the miner and thief looked simultaneously over their shoulders at me but I shook my head with as little movement as possible as if that would only cause unwanted attention to shift my way. Nori shot me an entreating sort of wink that in his case almost automatically came across as jaunty, while Bofur gave me an understanding and sympathetic smile before dragging the other dwarf along with him by the elbow. Grateful that neither had, in the end, insisted on making me join them I do feel incredibly forlorn as the throng of dwarves around me still keeps moving, avoiding collision with me like a shoaling fish swerving around an obstacle in their undersea world.

I fade as much into the background as possible and simply observe from my corner in the cavernous hall. When at long last the crowd thins and the majority of dwarves have returned to the work still left to be done, I cautiously shuffle towards the dozen or so of them that are clustered around Thorin's statue. From up closer I can see how each of them is holding something small in their hands. Standing on tip toe I watch how a young dwarf woman places a pebble on the edge of the pedestal, bows her head reverently and then gathers her skirts to move out of the way for the next dwarf who promptly steps up, holds his closed fist to his mouth, mumbles something in reverberating tones and then also adds his pebble to what I now notice are over a hundred already there.

Captivated by the ritual I unconsciously take another step forward and hear the grinding sound of rock on rock before I feel a small stone not unlike the pile of pebbles on and around Thorin's statue under the foot of my sole. I bent to pick it up, determined to pay my respects the same way I had seen the dwarves do. Although far from deserted the dwarves still lingering in the hall are all too occupied with their tasks and daily routine that I hope they won't notice me.

I hardly stood in front of the statue and had stretched out my arm when I felt more than saw a pair of stern eyes bore into me. I turned my head and instantly spotted a wizened looking guard peering rather menacingly in my direction. Courage failing me at once at his obvious disapproval I quickly retreat my hand still holding on to the tiny pebble and scurry off. I have no idea where I'm going but anywhere is better than to stay here.

"Fleeing from my uncle's austere gaze?" I can hear a familiar voice call out to me. Rooted to the spot I wait for Kíli to saunter my way, fist clenching so hard I can feel the pebble dent the soft, fleshy part of my palm.

"Don't worry. I've always thought the stone one is worse than the real one." he adds assuredly and flashes me a fleeting grin.

"Good to know." I answer curtly and rather meekly try to avoid looking up at him. If I did I there'd be every chance I'd look back into that guard's condemning eyes bulging out from under the rim of his iron helmet.

"Robin?"

"Hmm." I mumble back at Kíli's concerned tone, wishing fervently I could manage more but it seems futile to expect it at this moment. There is a silence that gets heavier with every second that passes but then I feel his shoulder bump into mine as Kíli takes a step closer.

"Want to be somewhere else too?" he asks, voice a husky whisper now it is clear he doesn't want others to overhear. That one sentence sums up how I feel and together with the realization that I'm not alone in this makes my heart leap in my chest. I can't lie. But I don't want to say it out loud either. This mountain is still his home after all. In the end I simply settle for a nod.

"Follow me." he tells me and steers me by the elbow as we leave the hall together. We pass through winding corridors and tunnel like paths that are all dimly lit with torches and just when I'm beginning to wonder how far into the mountain he is going to take me we stop. Jaw dropping I step into a large room in which daylight trickles inside through narrow slits: pale beams illuminating the wooden and straw dummies that bear the marks and scars of years of practice. I can just glimpse rows upon rows of armory and weapons of all possible sizes as I crane my neck.

"This way." Kíli calls over his shoulder, having given me a moment to take in the place he had brought me to but now threatening to disappear behind a rack of spears. I hasten to catch up, noting how there's only a handful of dwarves sparring at the moment. And none of them has even spotted us yet. As we head further Kíli leans slightly sideways in an almost conspiratorially manner and warns me in a mock strict tone not to touch anything. I narrow my eyes at him at the smugness glinting in the depth of his as he says it.

We pass axes, war-hammers, maces and short, blunt looking swords though I don't doubt they would cut orc necks as if the foul creatures were made out of butter. The armory was simply a maze to me. And didn't just hold dwarf weapons and armor. Hardly an expert even to me it was clear judging by the difference in size and design that they must fashion these at the request of customers and consequently sell some of these to other races.

"What do you trade these for?" my question effectively stops Kíli in his tracks though he needs no time to ponder on his answer.

"Food supplies mostly. Fresh produce. Livestock. That kind of thing. Fabrics too. Tools and necessities we don't have the material to produce ourselves." he explains patiently.

"A sword for a dress?" I arched a brow, mouth twitching with the hint of a smile I felt bubble up in my chest.

Kíli let out a good-humored laugh. "Silverwork, more likely. Or jewelry. But these mountains only have a few precious stones left. Besides there's always been more coal. We use it for the forges and smitheries."

He tapped a rhythmic beat on a nearby helmet that would be too big for both of us and made to move on. "Coming?"

I stir myself into motion again when I can't immediately stop staring at all the steel and metal craftsmanship around me. "Y-yes."

We continue on our way and just as I'm beginning to wonder whether I should have left a breadcrumb trail seeing how the path turns and twists left and right through the symmetrically lined weapons the dwarf next to me halts.

In front of us is a rather tucked away rack holding but two bows and one worn quiver with even more worn arrows inside. The rack is also considerably less sturdy and less ornate than the ones we passed. The smaller one of the two bows has notches all around the rim, top to bottom, even on the inside it seemed. Whoever had used it had marked every successful hit until there was almost no space left to keep score.

My companion let out a happy shout of recognition and took the small bow from the rack to turn it deftly and with practiced familiarity around in his hands. His eyes traveled all over the weapon with something close to fondness while his fingers traced the scarred wood. Then he came out of his nostalgic reverie, turned to me and held out the bow.

"For me?" I ask needlessly.

"Yes. For you. And don't look that disappointed." he added,

seeing me flick a not so covert glance at the bigger, shinier bow he now grabbed for himself.

"Who said I was?"

"No one. You didn't have to say it. The look in your eyes spoke volumes."

"Pretty sure they didn't." I countered a little defensively, suddenly feeling very self-conscious at the thought he could so easily read my expression.

Kíli harrumphed knowingly like I would expect Balin or Oín to do then averted his attention back to the bow in my hands, saying, "It used to be mine. First bow. It's how I learned. So it's a dear friend."

I nodded in understanding, fingertips tingling now when I had them explore the bow with a renewed interest that may not have been there before. Meanwhile Kíli turned back to the rack and busied himself with inspecting arrows.

"Stop fiddling with the string." he pointed out without having to direct his full attention at me, he had seen enough from the corner of his eyes to know what I was trying to do very secretively.

"You'll hurt yourself that way." he added, nudging his chin in my direction this time as I had only raised the bow further the way I thought it was supposed to be held, string pulled back as far as it would. His playful admonishing involuntarily increased my heartbeat. I _hmmfped_ with feigned indignation but did not relax my stance or the bow yet, instead I watched Kíli expertly and surprisingly gingerly straighten out fletchings that had feathers poking out at odd angles. It was difficult not to all of a sudden when his expression was one of an almost boyish joy, sleek hairs falling over his shoulders and his eyes shining irresistibly. It was like I just caught a rare glimpse of the Kíli I knew. The Kíli from before the Quest which had so altered him.

The consequences of my distraction was instant and merciless. There was a loud _thwang_ , a swoosh of air brushed past my ear and a sharp pain exploded in my lower arm as the string whipped against it. I yelped like a warg dangling somewhere at the bottom of the pack hierarchy and at the same time dropped the bow so it fell to the ground. Instinctively I clutched my injured arm tightly to myself, cradling it as if it was a new born baby. Despite feeling a complete softy I winced at the throbbing pain.

Kíli whisked around, worry etched on his face. "Here, let me see." he reached out and gently took my wrist then stretched my arm carefully. I sucked in a breath as he pushed up my sleeve. Well, _his_ sleeve. It had been his tunic after all. I was merely borrowing it.

Reluctantly I glanced down to see that my skin was reddish and a little raw. Exactly how it felt.

"And I even warned you. But will you listen.." Kíli mumbled in pretense remonstrance then started to rub my arm with his thumb, starting at the inside of my wrist and to the nook of my elbow, moving it in soothing circles. The hints of pain at the tender touch was nothing compared to the heat I now felt rising to my cheeks and prickle the sides of my neck.

* * *

"Better?" he asked, hesitating to continue rubbing her sore arm now it seemed to make her shrink away from him. Kíli thought he could detect the slightest of tremors run through her when she reclaimed her arm for herself, kneading the palm of her hand without seeming to notice that she did and mumbling a soft and embarrassed, "Much better."

"Still up for some practicing?" he hopefully inquired, following it up by picking up the small bow still lying half forgotten on the ground near her feet. An excited jolt crawled around his spine when her visible hesitation lasted for a few seconds only before it was replaced with an eager and confirming nod.

It turned out she was not a bad shot. She wasn't a very good one either. Something in between. But he admired her perseverance. She was completely absorbed in performing all the steps involved and did not pay attention to anything else. It took her a while but already it was becoming more of a routine: to nock an arrow to the bowstring, to pull the string taut and line the arrow up with the target before releasing it with just the right amount of force and at just the right time.

There were still more arrows on the ground than bored into the round, straw target, but more and more were hitting the edge of it. And then there was also something incredibly gratifying about the way Robin would listen to his instructions. How she would turn her greenish eyes to him, ask questions when she didn't understand and then ready herself to apply his words and take aim again. He had never been this patient during his own archery lessons. Especially not the first one. That was not to say that she always meekly obeyed every minute correction of her stance or method, somehow she was increasingly finding her own way of doing it, whether it was technically right or more effective or not.

Above all he could connect effortlessly to her need for distraction. To not think about the present situation. About the new world she found herself in without warning. About the dwarves, his people, who he knew didn't take to strangers. It pained him to admit it but he had know it would be so. All the more relieved did he feel that she hadn't blamed him for the rather cold and apprehensive reception she had received so far. Well. Not yet in any case..

Regardless, there was no denying that she fitted well into his half embrace half guidance of her limbs. Concentration all bent on arrow, bow and target, he himself could not help but become one with the weapon as he always did even though he was holding it through her. It was almost as if they became one being, an extension of themselves. It was one of the reasons why he felt it was better to call it quits after an hour or so and they spent the remaining time before noon clearing the shooting range as well as cleaning and mending some of the arrows that had come out ruffled and bent.

"Bath?" he suggested as he wiped his sweaty temples with his sleeve after returning the last arrow to the quiver.

"Yes, please!" Robin exclaimed longingly, brushing strands of both gray and blond hair out of her face. A sudden urge to reach out and guide one last wayward strand behind her ear Kíli turned back to the rack to assure himself everything had been returned to its place when he had already done so not a moment before.

"You sure it's ok? You've got time?" Robin behind him asked, voice more hesitant, "I mean, I don't know how I could possibly be useful and not just in everyone's way but, this is where you grew up. You've been away for so long. I don't want to make you feel like you have to keep me company."

Kíli smiled to himself at her sympathetic consideration before turning to face her again, lips still formed in a subtle curve though he felt a bitter tinge on his tongue as he said, "I could ask you the same thing. Perhaps you would rather spent time with the other Company members instead of trudging along behind an ungrateful prince who has outgrown his home but is too much of a coward to admit it."

There was a silence in which her gaze wavered and tumbled down like a leaf before shooting up again with a rekindled light reflecting in them so they appeared like moonlight shining on moss, "I guess if we're both homeless it makes sense to stick together."

It was his turn to ponder that over though he felt the truth of it before saying with heartfelt conviction, "Agreed."

They set out without another word for the baths deep down in the mining colony. There were separate booths surrounded by big boulders and the cavernous structure of the dug out mountain. The baths were crater-like holes in the ground, filled to the brim with water that had come from even deeper underground and which was so hot steam constantly coiled up from its bubbling surface.

He got into the booth next to hers, shook off all the layers of clothing he wore and slipped into the water. He had already submerged himself several times and splashed water into his face when he still couldn't hear similar sounds coming from the other side of the boulder.

"You know, usually taking a bath involves more than just putting in a toe."

There was a soft snort both in amusement and admission.

"It's very hot, in case you hadn't noticed."

"I had. Your body will get used to it if you're actually in it. Not if you keep hesitating at the edge." he coaxed her, grin playing around the corners of his mouth. He leaned back his head with one arm bent behind it and strained his ears. For a moment longer he could hear the patter of her wet feet on the slippery stones, then a determined sort of intake of breath followed by a clumsy sounding splash. It took him some effort not to burst out laughing at the hisses and what he could swear were curses on the other side. Finally there was a contented sigh and the sound of water lapping over the edges stilled to a relaxing and occasional ripple.

"Told you." he couldn't refrain from remarking.

"You did. Thanks." came her satisfied reply.

"Any time.."

Kíli closed his eyes, soaking in the warm embrace of the water around him and trying very hard not to picture to himself the serene look on Robin's face but a stone's breadth away.


End file.
